The post where I voice my opinion and probably piss off some of my friends...

Okay. This is going to be one of those posts where I ramble and string thoughts from one thing to another because I am irritated.

I apologize in advance if I piss anyone off.

Adam was watching an interview with the nephew of the man that died in Dallas from Ebola. I can't find the video now to reference it but as he was watching it I was yelling at his phone as if the man could actually hear me.

And I quote.... "If he hadn't been a black man he would still be alive."

Really? You're gonna throw the race card? Really?

I do not consider myself to be a racist person. I look at the person as a whole rather than the color of their skin. I will form opinions based on your stupidity levels...not your color. That being said we can move on.

Yes, the hospital made mistakes. They were unprepared and uneducated and did not have the odds in their favor when Mr. Duncan came in. Yes, they screwed up and sent him home even though he was sick. Do I think that had anything to do with him being black? No. Uninsured? That is more in the realm of things possible. I have been on the receiving end of shitty hospital care because I was uninsured. It does happen. They should have taken into account that he had just come from Liberia and considered Ebola as a possibility....but they didn't. Americans tend to live in their "oh that won't happen here" bubble and it bites us in the ass on more than one occasion.

Another thing Americans tend to do is expect everything to work out because we are in America. Life doesn't work out that way. So sorry. I think Mr. Duncan's chances of survival were higher here than in Liberia. As I said before, I think the hospital was ill prepared to deal with an Ebola case and it is unfortunate that Mr. Duncan died but I don't think he would have had great chances in Liberia where, most of the people that are sick and dying are black. If he had died there then would his nephew be saying, "If he hadn't been a black man he would still be alive"? 

Two nurses have tested positive for Ebola. News flash....one of them is black.....one is not. They are receiving care and hopefully they will not die. Does the non-black one have to die to prove this isn't a race issue? Seriously. If the black nurse dies is this gonna turn into a Ferguson issue?

Oh, and THAT lovely gem of current events. White, black, purple, orange or maroon....if you act like a thug and threaten a police officer...you will get shot. If you SHOOT at a police officer THEY WILL SHOOT BACK. For the love of GOD and all things holy...if you act like a thug you will be treated like one. Yes...in some cases that have occurred I do believe that the police were in the wrong and that racial profiling did occur. I think that is a shame and it is sad that it does happen. But more often than not the person lives up to their stereotypes and that is why the police react the way they do. The case of the foster kid that was black getting pepper sprayed in an assumed robbery...he was calm until the police asked him why his pictures weren't on the mantel in his white foster family's house if he lived there like he said he did. He got pissed and wouldn't calm down and came at the cops forcefully and angry...he was warned to calm down and didn't....so they sprayed him.

Moral of the story.... if you don't want the color of your skin to be an issue don't make the color of your skin such a big damn deal.

The post where I discuss the alien in my belly

I had many people tell me what it would feel like when I finally felt Cain move....


"It feels like bubbles popping."
"It feels like gas but you never fart."
"It feels like when you're in a pool and you wave your hand close to your stomach and the current pushes on your skin....but on the inside."
"It feels like when you drive over a bump in the road and your stomach lifts."

That all may be true and accurate descriptions but I would like to add one to the list....

"It feels like you just ate a taco. A delicious taco...nice and spicy...perfect amount of grease. You obliterate the taco and relax on the couch. But then something happens in the intestinal area. The taco has come to life and wants out and the preferable route for the taco's exit is through your belly button.... Welcome to pregnancy...you have an alien in your belly that loves tacos."

I felt Cain move around 20w1d pregnant. I felt him move on the outside (and so did Adam) at 21w2d. I caught him on video thumping his way around my uterus at 21w4d.... This is also the approximate timeline that I went from food baby bump to actual baby bump status....

 

I still don't quite "feel" pregnant...but I think I will soon... I have a banana sized baby that likes to sit on my bladder soooooooo......

~Turtle

The post where I discuss a fear and reveal the gender to blog land

I am terrified of smallish children.

No really. You may think I am kidding but I am not. Smallish children fresh from the uterus scare the living bajeezus out of me. They are essentially bobbleheads with broken springs.

I have been terrified of broken bobbleheaded babies since I can remember.

Example: When I was just about to start fifth grade my best friend Erin acquired a little sister named Regan. I wouldn't hold her. I would look at her and make dorky faces and play with her but when asked if I wanted to hold her I decided that I needed to be as far away from her as I possibly could get. I don't remember which one of the Stacey family finally called me out for being terrified but I do remember when I finally "held" her...

She was probably about six months old or so...big enough to be sitting up on her own... and she was playing in Brendan's room. I remember arguing with someone about how I was NOT afraid to hold her and I was finally like, "Fine!" So... I went into Brendan's room, sat on the floor behind her and put my hands on her waist. When someone asked if I was gonna hold her I said, "I AM holding her!"

Since then I have gotten better about it. Once the bobblehead's spring is strong enough to support its own noggin' I am all about cuddling the cute little boogers. I will hold them prior to that milestone but in all honesty I am internally freaking out. I hold them long enough to pretend I am not terrified and then I am looking for someone....anyone...who wants to hold it more than I do. The only time I am semi comfortable is if I am sitting when I am handed the baby, the baby is sleeping so it is not moving and I am not required to move...at all. If I need to get up....someone else takes the baby before I get up. If the baby starts to squirm....someone else takes the baby because I have suddenly found a very important reason why I need to get up. If I am standing when holding the baby I will only stand long enough to find someone else to hold the baby or to find a place to sit.

And if I am standing and the baby starts to squirm.....Oh dear GOD someone take the baby.

Why am I rambling on and on about my fear of the weak necked newborns? Beeeecaauuuseeee I am about to HAVE one.

I am not terrified to give birth. I am not terrified to have a baby. I am excited. I love babies. But I am terrified of being alone with a broken spring bobblehead. I know I will be fine and motherly instincts will kick in and all that jazz... I know that... but that is what I am scared of....holding him and feeling like a shitty mother for wanting to play pass the baby because I am terrified.

Oh yeah....by the way....it is a boy. Here is (as Adam calls it) the "junk seen from space".

Yeah... I am terrified of my unborn broken spring bobbleheaded boy.

Don't judge me.

~Turtle