6/8/14
*you order ham and pepperoni on your pizza religiously and you order a creation that is infested with green peppers..twice in one day..and you don't really like green peppers.
6/9/14
*you are eating the crap out of left over green pepper infested pizza and you think to yourself, "Wow.my boobs have been suuuuper sore for a week and a half and now I am loving green peppers?!?!?! Time to pee on a stick."
*you pee on a stick and text your friend a photo with the caption, "IS THAT A MFING LINE?!?!?!"
*you decide that you are not convinced that it is an mfing line and will pee on another stick in the morning.
6/10/14
*you pee on another stick first thing and you say to yourself, "Okay..now THAT is definitely a friggin line..holy shit."
*you go to work at 5:30 in the morning so you don't wake your husband up (because A: you don't want to tell him until a blood test confirms that it was indeed a line and B: you bought a special shirt nine months prior that has been hidden in your closet until this moment and you don't wanna ruin your master plan.)
*you have your blood drawn and the two hours it takes for them to call you with the results are the LONGEST two hours of your life. (Positive!)
*you call your husband and ask him to go to lunch with you and he already knows something's up because you have never called him to ask him to go to lunch.
6/12/14
*you are standing in the baby section of Walmart and your eyes start leaking.
*you laugh so hard you cry watching a 34 second long video of baby goats (and you watch it repeatedly)
Video found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?
*you start to parannoy the SHIT out of yourself (parannoy.....annoyingly paranoid) "Hey, water bottle that I have never had a problem with before....do you have BPA or whatever...are you trying to kill us???? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!" "Hey, I am gonna wipe down my office.... hello, Clorox wipes that I use like its my job... lets get to work....wipey wipey wipey...wait...there is something about these things that I should be remembering.... OH SHIT BLEACH I AM BREATHING BLEACH FUMES OH MY GOD I AM KILLING THE SMALLISH CHILD SONOFABITCH!!!!!!"
*you randomly gag at the sight of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag at the smell of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag at the thought of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag for absolutely no reason at all whatsoever.
*you are asked by a coworker why you have a stink face on and you reply, "I am trying to not throw up on your boots."
*you catch yourself staring at babies....I mean REALLY staring at babies...and when you realize you are staring at a baby you hope to GOD the parental unit is not staring at you as you stare at their baby.
*you are so damn tired you can hardly stand it.....
*you go to four different stores looking for a certain type of cocoa butter cream because "this one doesn't smell right....that one doesn't smell right either..."
*your "seal has been permanently broken" because you pee ALL THE DAMN TIME
*you are scatterbrained and squirrely enough as it is but you LITERALLY forget the word 'chalkboard' and you have an impromptu game of Taboo with a coworker until they guess 'chalkboard?' and you say "YES! Thank you...good GOD that was ridiculous." They reply with, "Really? Already". You reply back that this might just be normal you......
6/13/14
*you realize you can no longer drink milk. Milk used to give you a stomach issues if you drank a lot at one time..now you drink one glass and it is all over.
*you are surprisingly calm when your husband says his first "husband no-no" to pregnant you. Non-pregnant you would have flipped out. Pregnant you goes to bed.
*you start getting up before six with no issues. (WHY??? WHY are you getting up before six???? WHY????)
*you have a not-so calm reaction to the second "husband no-no" to pregnant you.
6/15/14
*you wake up at 6:30 on a Saturday because you "have to sweep the kitchen floor right fucking now."
*you wake up at 7:00 on a Sunday and start cleaning the bathroom.
6/17/14
*you are perfectly okay with the fact you went to bed at 8:30 the night before.
*you wake up in the middle of the night because you rolled over onto your stomach and it really hurt your boobs.
*you are extremely conscious of everything you put in your pie hole.. "does this have good nutritional value?"
*you sweat a lot more..five minutes on the elliptical looks like a half hour of playing soccer.
6/19/14
*you smell that someone at work has made popcorn..and you pull your shirt up over your nose because the smell makes you want to puke.
6/20/14
*you buy a small bag of Lays Salt and Vinegar chips..and they taste disgusting..which is thoroughly depressing.
*you cry while watching a Coldplay music video because it's "just so awesome"... that one is worth repeating.. You CRY watching a COLDPLAY MUSIC VIDEO.. Fucking hormones.
Video found here (and it isn't anything to cry over either.. I embarrass myself.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?
*you discover that Crest in Oklahoma sells Vernors Ginger Ale.....so you buy 60 cans of it just in case you can't find it again.
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