The post where I discuss birthing a mini human

Soooooo..... this happened.....

Cain Kenneth Sylvester was born on February 9th, 2015 at 12:51 PM. He weighed in at 8 lbs 10 oz and was 20.5 inches long.

It is a good thing he was born ten days before his due date (according to the doctor) and three days before his due date (according to me).

So now onto the "birth story" or the Rachelese version of a "birth story" anyway...

A few weeks ago I had an appointment where Dr. Jones and I discussed inducing and when we would induce and methods of induction. She checked me and I was barely 1 cm dialated and not effaced at all. She said that, since I was a first time Mom, she was pretty positive I would go to my due date and beyond and that, since I have the lovely gestational diabetes, she wouldn't let me go overdue. One of the things I told her was that I really wanted to avoid using Pitocin and that I would like to exhaust all other options before having to go that route. She told me she was okay with me doing anything that she has not seen harm women or babies. She wrote me a note so a massage parlor would do a non-prenatal massage. She said using Evening Primrose Oil was fine and getting some 5W supplement was fine. At the end of the appointment she told me she was going to , "have a discussion with the hospital and see if the 20th or the 21st would be induction day" and that I needed "to have a conversation with your uterus about the fact you don't want Pitocin."

So I told my uterus how it was gonna be....and then I pretty much decided to do things the "Laura Ingalls Wilder way" (aka...nothing but wait and see what happened). The thought of jamming capsules up my vajayjay was just too....yeah.... I was good not doing that.

Friday the 6th I had an appointment and when I was checked Doc said I was at 3 cm and 60% effaced. Doc said she thought I might not need to be induced after all but that I would probably not deliver until the week of the 16th. Clearly the uterus talk was working.

Sunday February 8th Adam and I went shopping all over. I walked...a lot. I had frequent dizzy spells...frequent lightning crotch and was generally uncomfortable. That night we put the crib together and hung curtain rods and did stuff around the house. When I sat on the couch after we were done working for the night Midnight hopped up with me. She usually goes to the opposite end of the couch and lounges on the armrest. Instead she decided to be between the couch back and my legs....with one paw on my belly and the other on my thigh.....and then she stared at me like she was waiting for me to do something and I was clearly not getting the memo.

I had an ultrasound appointment at 7:30 AM on Monday the ninth. So I went and the tech did her thing. I asked her what my fluid levels were and she said they were 14.2 (which is apparently normal) and I said something about how I thought I might be leaking a little bit because things were different in the underwear department. She said the week before I had been at around 19 and it was normal for some to absorb and that the measurements could have been caused by the way the baby was positioned but if I thought I was leaking I should get it checked to see. I figured I would keep an eye on things going on in the nether regions and if I still felt like it was a possibility I would tell Dr. Jones at my appointment on Wednesday the 11th. The appointment was over so I left to head to work.

I stopped at Circle K on Reno to grab a few bottles of water. I bent down to grab the bottles from the cooler and as I grabbed the third one I felt a warm gush...I thought, "What the hell was that?" ... I straighted up and felt another gush "This is a gross new development"....then a third "Wait...is this what it feel like to have your water break????"

I walked to the register, bought my water and then went to the bathroom. I was soaked. It was clear and I knew there was no way I had peed my pants THAT bad. On the way to the car I felt two more gushes. I called Adam (at 8:20 AM) and let him know I would meet him at home...called work to let them know I wasn't gonna make it in...and headed home. Why did I go home and not back to the hospital? Because I hadn't packed a bag yet. Go me.

So I get home and go in the house and feel three more big gushes. I changed and threw stuff in a duffel bag. Wandered around the house grabbing random crap and throwing it into a bag. Wasn't thinking completely straight. (We took Adam's jeep...but somehow I ended up packing my keys...the key ring I always have AND the spare car key because...why not apparently.)

We got to the hospital around 9:30 AM and went to the OB ER to check in and make sure I was actually in labor. (The amount of fluid that came out of me suggested that there was no way I wasn't actually in labor....but rules are rules so I couldn't be admitted until then.) So we waited and contractions started around 9:45 or so. They were kind of uncomfortable but nothing too bad pain wise. The OB ER doc checked me and I was 4 cm. She said they would check me again in a little while to see if I was making any progress and talk about different ways to help my body along if I wasn't dialating on my own.

Turns out the "conversation with my uterus about how much I didn't want Pitocin" was received by my uterus loud and clear...

 

We were officially admitted around 10:15 and taken to a labor and delivery room. The nurse that took us up said something along the lines of, "are you ready to go for a little walk to your room" to which I replied, "could I get a chair instead...I don't want to have a contraction mid stroll." (I forgot that one should time contractions...being at the hospital and being hooked up to the monitors I didn't figure I needed to since they were monitoring them.....but I have a husband who rocks and was on top of these things. When the contractions started they were six to eight minutes apart and lasting 30-60 seconds. When we were on our way to our room they were five to six minutes apart and lasting about a minute.)

 

We got settled in our room and I was really starting to feel the contractions. I felt like a sissy because I hadn't expected them to hurt that much that fast and I figured if they were already that bad what the hell was active labor and pushing going to be like. I had planned on laboring in the water so Adam started the both for me and I climbed in well before it was even warm. I just wanted the shower spray to hit me because when I am sick that always makes me feel better....and it did...for about three contractions (which were now at about four minutes apart and 60-90 seconds long and making me dizzy and queasy). So I was sitting in the tub...feeling like a total friggin' baby and after a particularly painful and intense contraction I looked at Adam and said, "If I get an epidural you're not gonna say 'I told you so' are you." Smart man said, "No." The nurse asked if I wanted one and I said not yet (because I figured I had plenty of time and that I was just being a big baby and I was gonna need to save it so it didn't wear off before it was time to push.) At this point it was about 11:30. So I rode out two more contractions...felt like I was about to puke and pass out...and decided it was time. So I asked for the epidural and I go out of the tub.

 

It took about a half hour from the time I decided that I wanted to get an epidural until they had the paperwork done and the Epidural Gods arrived. So now I was at two to three minutes apart lasting about 90 seconds and I couldn't get through the first 20 seconds without pushing. Which in the movies they always tell you to not push until they tell you to so I went three or so contractions before I told the nurse I needed to push. The Epidural Gods were getting everything set up and the nurse said they were gonna check me after the epidural was in but if I felt like pushing maybe they should check me before... (At this point it was about 12:15 and I still was under the impression that I was near the beginning and not the end of labor. It had only been four hours since my water broke and labor was supposed to be an extended event....like 20 hours...so I was being a big baby...getting an epidural way too soon and if I couldn't handle the beginning of labor how was I gonna handle the end? I had said, "I can't do this" at least four times (which Adam told me, "yes...you can") I felt like a failure and a weakling. And everytime I would drop an F-bomb I would apologize.)

 

Then the nurse said some crazy things....

 

"Okay...you're at a 10 and the baby's head is right there. Someone call the doctor now, please. I can catch the baby but she needs to know we are ready to go in here. Are you sure you want to try the epidural or do you want to push?"

 

Excuse me? I'm at a what and what is happening? Already? But it hasn't been that long... I am a first time Mom....isn't this supposed to take forever???? So that is why it hurts so bad already....its already almost over. I get it now...I am not a big fat sissy pants. Cool!

 

So I said the logical thing in this situation....

 

"Stick me. Stick me now. I want the epidural right now right now. Right now please. Stick me right now."

 

Then the interesting things started. I had been making a humming noise to get through the worst part of the contractions (and to make myself breathe since Adam's favorite phrase during this whole evolution was, "You gotta breathe, babe.. you can't keep holding your breath...". but now the Epidural Gods (who were using terms like, "too late" and "stay still"...clearly not things I needed to hear) were trying to get things started and I was having a contraction from hell with the urge to push every 90-120 seconds lasting 60 to 90 seconds. I heard this crazy noise start when I was trying not to move and trying not to push. I was curled up in my right side...one hand attached to the bed rail and one hand gripping Adam's hand and pushing it against my forehead (I was trying not to rip his fingers off so if I put his hand against my head I had to loosen my grip a little).  So this noise.....it sounded like a dying cow. I was trying to figure out where this sound was coming from and why it sounded so loud like it was....oh....coming from me. Well that's super....the dying cow is me.... I couldn't figure out how to make the sound stop either. It was great. My mind knew I sounded like ridiculous but that is what my voice box decided to do to get through the pain.

 

So the Epidural Gods got the first dose in (but not entirely....they said only half went in since I couldn't keep still) and that they weren't gonna do the second dose. At that point it was more mental than physical. It took effect just enough to take the intense edge off the pain but it didn't numb me from the waist down and I still felt everything. The Epidural Gods rolled out and then Doc Jones was there. I said something along the lines of, "I guess my conversation with my uterus worked, eh Doc?"

 

I got into position and she said to go ahead and push when I felt the need to. At this point it was about 12:35. The next contraction hit and she told me to give her three good pushes per contraction and rest in between. In between contractions I would drop my head back and stair at the ceiling and make Rachel type comments to make myself feel better. I said, "This really stings". Doc said, "Yeah, is head is halfway out." I replied with, "I guess that would be why it really stings then..." Doc asked Adam if he wanted to see. I think he looked. I wouldn't have looked. Someone mentioned a mirror and I was adamantly against that. I figured I felt it...I didn't need to see it and have that mental image burned into my head for all eternity.

 

Doc told me that it was time to get his shoulders out and it would be over. It was go time. Contraction hit and I pushed as hard as I think was possible. Then....relief...the pressure was gone and nothing hurt anymore. It didn't occur to me that meant I had given birth so I dropped my head back and looked at the ceiling again to wait for the next contraction. Doc said, "Uh...Mom...you need to look up." So I did. And there he was.

 

 

 

They wiped him down quick, got him squawking a little and plopped him on my chest....where he promptly took his first poop. Thank you, Little Boy. "I am so happy to meet you, Mom...here is some poop on your stomach as a gift." I cried a little...not because of the poop but because he was there and it was overwhelming and I had about 9,000 emotions hitting me all at once. And it was over....I had my water break at 8:20 AM and at 12:51PM it was all over.

 

They say your first labor is the longest....my next kid will be born AT the gas station when my water breaks.

 

We started our mando 48 hour stay. He had some blood sugar issues the first 12 hours but we got those fixed up right quick. We were supposed to go home Wednesday but we had to stay until Friday because we had some jaundice issues we had to get through. Seeing him under the lights and not being able to cuddle him much sucked.



 

 

Mema didn't make it from New York for the birth. She got in on Wednesday instead. I think it was love at first sight...

 

Adam and I are so in love too. So is Mooshie. Midnight is slowly warming up to him.

 We are all doing well and settling in at home. Thank you everyone for the well wishes and love you have sent from near and far. And yes...I will continue to blow up your Facebook News Feed with pictures because...well...who WOULDN'T want to see this face?!?!?!

 

The post where I discuss the second trimester

This pregnancy has flown by so far (but what I am told the third trimester drags on slower than molasses in January). So here is my second trimester recap....

Most Exciting Moment…
Feeling Little Boy move (yep...I said boy). I couldn't get over watching my stomach twitch when he moved. I still can't (although now it is getting pretty freaky...not really twitches anymore...full on rolls.) Finding out the gender was also pretty awesome.


Most Challenging Moment…
Being diagnosed with gestational diabetes. That pretty much sucks. I don't have to take any insulin which is a bonus but having to limit my carb intake when I am a potato and pasta person hasn't been all that fun. I wasn't a very good diabetic over Thanksgiving weekend though.... I was careful I didn't go too crazy but ERMAGERD the food was DELICIOUS.

One Thing I’m Proud Of…
I was able to keep running up until week 24 or so when I pulled a groin muscle. It is finally almost healed in week 29 so I am gonna try to go for jog/walks again. 

One Thing I Wish Were Different…
For the most part everything has been fairly easy. There are a couple things I would change but for this blog that is as far into details as I'm gonna go... :-p

Cravings
French Onion Soup....from Applebees. By the vat full. I ate two bowls at every visit and I went (usually) at least twice a week. Drool. And now I want soup....

Also, Little Debbie brownies. Not the best thing for a person with gestational diabetes to crave but I've made it work.

Aversions
Nothing was too overly digusting during the second trimester.

My Physical State Included…
Peeing. A lot. A lot of peeing. Waking up early and not being able to go back to sleep (luckily I could take naps like a champ). Still not much weight gain.

Symptoms I [Thankfully] Didn’t Have…
Crazy cravings and terrible mood swings.... Ain't nobody got time to bawl over the fact there aren't any artichoke popsicles or something. Swelling.  

One Thing That Surprised Me…
The long car rides I had to endure weren't as bad as I thought they would be. Don't get me wrong....they weren't fun but they weren't like I was expecting.

Baby Names and Nicknames
The uterus alien shall be known as Cain Kenneth Sylvester. :-D

Looking Forward To…
Seeing my belly REALLY roll. The end product of having a smallish child.



Pretty short recap but it'll do. :-)

~Turtle

The post where I voice my opinion and probably piss off some of my friends...

Okay. This is going to be one of those posts where I ramble and string thoughts from one thing to another because I am irritated.

I apologize in advance if I piss anyone off.

Adam was watching an interview with the nephew of the man that died in Dallas from Ebola. I can't find the video now to reference it but as he was watching it I was yelling at his phone as if the man could actually hear me.

And I quote.... "If he hadn't been a black man he would still be alive."

Really? You're gonna throw the race card? Really?

I do not consider myself to be a racist person. I look at the person as a whole rather than the color of their skin. I will form opinions based on your stupidity levels...not your color. That being said we can move on.

Yes, the hospital made mistakes. They were unprepared and uneducated and did not have the odds in their favor when Mr. Duncan came in. Yes, they screwed up and sent him home even though he was sick. Do I think that had anything to do with him being black? No. Uninsured? That is more in the realm of things possible. I have been on the receiving end of shitty hospital care because I was uninsured. It does happen. They should have taken into account that he had just come from Liberia and considered Ebola as a possibility....but they didn't. Americans tend to live in their "oh that won't happen here" bubble and it bites us in the ass on more than one occasion.

Another thing Americans tend to do is expect everything to work out because we are in America. Life doesn't work out that way. So sorry. I think Mr. Duncan's chances of survival were higher here than in Liberia. As I said before, I think the hospital was ill prepared to deal with an Ebola case and it is unfortunate that Mr. Duncan died but I don't think he would have had great chances in Liberia where, most of the people that are sick and dying are black. If he had died there then would his nephew be saying, "If he hadn't been a black man he would still be alive"? 

Two nurses have tested positive for Ebola. News flash....one of them is black.....one is not. They are receiving care and hopefully they will not die. Does the non-black one have to die to prove this isn't a race issue? Seriously. If the black nurse dies is this gonna turn into a Ferguson issue?

Oh, and THAT lovely gem of current events. White, black, purple, orange or maroon....if you act like a thug and threaten a police officer...you will get shot. If you SHOOT at a police officer THEY WILL SHOOT BACK. For the love of GOD and all things holy...if you act like a thug you will be treated like one. Yes...in some cases that have occurred I do believe that the police were in the wrong and that racial profiling did occur. I think that is a shame and it is sad that it does happen. But more often than not the person lives up to their stereotypes and that is why the police react the way they do. The case of the foster kid that was black getting pepper sprayed in an assumed robbery...he was calm until the police asked him why his pictures weren't on the mantel in his white foster family's house if he lived there like he said he did. He got pissed and wouldn't calm down and came at the cops forcefully and angry...he was warned to calm down and didn't....so they sprayed him.

Moral of the story.... if you don't want the color of your skin to be an issue don't make the color of your skin such a big damn deal.

The post where I discuss the alien in my belly

I had many people tell me what it would feel like when I finally felt Cain move....


"It feels like bubbles popping."
"It feels like gas but you never fart."
"It feels like when you're in a pool and you wave your hand close to your stomach and the current pushes on your skin....but on the inside."
"It feels like when you drive over a bump in the road and your stomach lifts."

That all may be true and accurate descriptions but I would like to add one to the list....

"It feels like you just ate a taco. A delicious taco...nice and spicy...perfect amount of grease. You obliterate the taco and relax on the couch. But then something happens in the intestinal area. The taco has come to life and wants out and the preferable route for the taco's exit is through your belly button.... Welcome to pregnancy...you have an alien in your belly that loves tacos."

I felt Cain move around 20w1d pregnant. I felt him move on the outside (and so did Adam) at 21w2d. I caught him on video thumping his way around my uterus at 21w4d.... This is also the approximate timeline that I went from food baby bump to actual baby bump status....

 

I still don't quite "feel" pregnant...but I think I will soon... I have a banana sized baby that likes to sit on my bladder soooooooo......

~Turtle

The post where I discuss a fear and reveal the gender to blog land

I am terrified of smallish children.

No really. You may think I am kidding but I am not. Smallish children fresh from the uterus scare the living bajeezus out of me. They are essentially bobbleheads with broken springs.

I have been terrified of broken bobbleheaded babies since I can remember.

Example: When I was just about to start fifth grade my best friend Erin acquired a little sister named Regan. I wouldn't hold her. I would look at her and make dorky faces and play with her but when asked if I wanted to hold her I decided that I needed to be as far away from her as I possibly could get. I don't remember which one of the Stacey family finally called me out for being terrified but I do remember when I finally "held" her...

She was probably about six months old or so...big enough to be sitting up on her own... and she was playing in Brendan's room. I remember arguing with someone about how I was NOT afraid to hold her and I was finally like, "Fine!" So... I went into Brendan's room, sat on the floor behind her and put my hands on her waist. When someone asked if I was gonna hold her I said, "I AM holding her!"

Since then I have gotten better about it. Once the bobblehead's spring is strong enough to support its own noggin' I am all about cuddling the cute little boogers. I will hold them prior to that milestone but in all honesty I am internally freaking out. I hold them long enough to pretend I am not terrified and then I am looking for someone....anyone...who wants to hold it more than I do. The only time I am semi comfortable is if I am sitting when I am handed the baby, the baby is sleeping so it is not moving and I am not required to move...at all. If I need to get up....someone else takes the baby before I get up. If the baby starts to squirm....someone else takes the baby because I have suddenly found a very important reason why I need to get up. If I am standing when holding the baby I will only stand long enough to find someone else to hold the baby or to find a place to sit.

And if I am standing and the baby starts to squirm.....Oh dear GOD someone take the baby.

Why am I rambling on and on about my fear of the weak necked newborns? Beeeecaauuuseeee I am about to HAVE one.

I am not terrified to give birth. I am not terrified to have a baby. I am excited. I love babies. But I am terrified of being alone with a broken spring bobblehead. I know I will be fine and motherly instincts will kick in and all that jazz... I know that... but that is what I am scared of....holding him and feeling like a shitty mother for wanting to play pass the baby because I am terrified.

Oh yeah....by the way....it is a boy. Here is (as Adam calls it) the "junk seen from space".

Yeah... I am terrified of my unborn broken spring bobbleheaded boy.

Don't judge me.

~Turtle

The post where I discuss the first trimester...

The first trimester is behind me. It went by fast and slow at the same time…. “Wow, I am already 12 weeks!” (Five minutes later) “Ugh, I am only 12 weeks…”

Being in Oklahoma and having most of my family and friends in New York and Michigan I tend to rely on Facebook as a way to keep everyone in the loop. I am not a very private person when it comes to things I am excited about (clearly….I was only four weeks pregnant when we announced to the world. Screw that whole ‘wait til the second trimester thing’. The only way I would have been able to do that is if I disabled my Facebook account). A few years ago I pulled an April Fool’s joke where I posted “Today’s forecast is cloudy with a 100% chance of morning sickness.” People were not amused. Some got downright pissed off. I told myself that when I did get pregnant I wasn’t going to tell anyone except my parents and a couple of friends until I was around seven months pregnant and post a photo of my big ol belly with the caption, “See kids….this is why you don’t eat watermelon seeds” and then have everyone freak because they didn’t know yet. Clearly that didn’t happen. I was just too excited to keep my mouth shut. Anywho…anyone that reads my Facebook posts knows my first trimester was a little rough in some aspects but over all it could have been worse….and there were some moments that were pretty damn good.

So without further ado…. here is my long winded first trimester recap.

Finding Out and Telling Family

I touched on this in my last post. I wasn’t even late yet. I ordered a weird pizza topping and ate the crap out of it and I peed on the stick because…well….why not. I had been in Texas Memorial Day weekend and Kerri gave me a “baby goodie bag” with ovulation strips, two pregnancy tests and a baby outfit. I did one of the ovulation tests when I got home and the line was faint…I did another one the next day and the line was gone. I figured I had missed the window for the month. (I am pretty sure we conceived over that weekend…so the chance wasn’t missed…but I didn’t know that then.) So June 9^th, for shits and giggles, I peed on a stick from the “goodie bag”. I had peed on several sticks in the past, all negative and I didn’t expect this one to be any different so I didn’t wait the prescribed time. No line. I threw it out.
About an hour later I had to pee again so I was sitting there doing my thing and something in my mind made me fish the test out of the trash can. There was a line. A very faint one but still…..a line. I took a picture, sent it to Kerri (June 9^th is, by the way, Kerri’s birthday) with the caption, “IS THAT A MFNG LINE?!?!?!?” She said it was but when I told her it had been a little over an hour she said it could be an evaporation line and a false positive and to try again in the morning. So I calmly went back into the living room with Adam…didn’t say a word… and continued to watch TV. No big deal. I figured it was gonna be negative in the morning.

5AM rolls around. I wake up and stumble into the bathroom. Take the remaining pee stick from the “goodie bag”, do my thing and let the dogs out while I waited for it to season. Verdict…..line. Not as faint as the one the night before. An actual legit line. So I took a picture at ass crack dawn, sent it to Kerri with the caption, “Okay….now THAT is an mfing line!” and got ready for work. I was still calm. I had expected that when the day came that a pee stick was positive I would be bouncing off the walls but no….call it shock or disbelief or something but I was very much like, “Okay. Cool. I’m pregnant. Where are my work boots?”
I still didn’t tell Adam. I went to work. Went to medical. Had a blood test done. They said they would call me in a couple hours. Went back to work. Peed on a third stick…positive. Got the call and the lady was all, “Okay you need to schedule a pregnancy resource meeting blah blah blah…” I asked her if that meant the blood test was positive. She goes, “Oh! Yes! Congratulations.” I still didn’t freak out. I went home and grabbed the shirt I had made a few months back to tell Adam with (the “Looks like we need to find some stairs” shirt), called him and asked him if he wanted to go to lunch with me, met him in the parking lot of his work and had the shirt on over my uniform. He said, “Oh geez” and gave me a huge hug. (He insists he did not say “oh geez” but I have it on tape :-p) On the way to the BX for lunch I was babbling away and he was silent. I finally asked him if he was okay or if he was freaking out or what was going on in his mind and he said, “This is me emotional.” I glanced at him and he had a big shit eatin’ grin on his face. :-)  He told me later that he knew I was gonna tell him I was pregnant because I had never asked him to go to lunch before. Hahaha.

After work we put on our silly shirts and had Chris take a picture to use as our announcement. Before I posted it we called our parents and I called a couple of Aunts, Uncles and friends that I didn’t want to have find out via FB and get upset. His parents and siblings were excited and happy for us. I don’t know exactly what they said since he made those calls but here are my parents reactions:

My Mom: I told her that Mooshie and Midnight were going to be sad because they were going to have to share Memaw’s love and attention with a human baby. She didn’t freak like I thought she would (like mother like daughter since I didn’t freak like I thought I would either). She said she was happy and congratulated us and was excited. :-)

My Dad: I asked him about the job he was on and where he was headed next. I asked him where he thought he was going to be in February. He said, “Not here.” I told him that wherever he ended up at that time he was gonna have to swing by OKC to meet his Grandbaby. There was a five second pause and he said, “I just might have to do that.” Then he told his buddy I was pregnant and then he goes, “It’s about damn time!” Hahaha.

I have to share Nickie’s reaction too because it was pretty priceless… We have a thing about the movie Juno. She was working and wasn’t answering her phone and finally texted me to get me to stop blowing her pocket up. I told her she needed to call me because I had to tell her something. When she got a moment she called and told me, “You have about five seconds.” So I said, “Yo yo giggity yo. My eggo of preggo and this ain’t no food baby.” She freaked. “ARE YOU F-ING SERIOUS?!??!”  Then the five second rule went out the window and she was in planning mode…talking baby showers and shit. I told her to slow her roll since the kid didn’t even have a face yet. Hahahaha. She cracks me up.

Then we posted this picture on FB and our phones blew up for a few days with notifications, texts and calls. :-)

Most Exciting Moment…
The first ultrasound. Adam went with me and the doc (Dr. Heather Jones at OU is who I chose to be my OB) did her measurements and what not then told Adam to stand by my head. She turned the monitor around so we could see it and there was our baby. A little teeny Squirt chillin’ upside down. We could see it’s little legs and the heartbeat flickering away. We were staring at it, grinning like idiots and suddenly it started wiggling around like it was putting on a show. I don’t think it had really sunk in that there was a smallish child in there until that moment. Seeing it move even though I couldn’t feel it was pretty surreal. It is amazing what a woman’s body can do and how a few cells can become that little wiggle worm. It’s amazing and a little creepy too haha.

Most Challenging Moment…
This damn headache I have had for over a month has created some challenging moments. The worst by far was having Skipper asking what I wanted him to do because my head hurt so much I couldn’t stop crying. That goes down as the most embarrassing moment so far too. I have never had such a terrible headache before. Hopefully it doesn’t get that bad again because that was a little ridiculous.

One Thing I’m Proud Of…
I (so far) haven’t taken pregnancy as meaning an eating free for all. I’ve kept pretty healthy and sensible with my eating. I gained three pounds weeks 4-12 and lost all three during week 13 because it is hard to be hungry when your head is throbbing. I am hoping the hunger kicks in soon so Doc doesn’t kill me for not gaining any weight by my next appointment.

One Thing I Wish Were Different…
The only thing I would change is the headache. I didn’t really want to take any medicine while pregnant and there were times where I literally couldn’t function without it. Sucky.

Cravings
Baked potatoes (potatoes in any form really), orange juice and spicy foods showed up repeatedly during the first trimester. The only one that is still around is potatoes. I love me some spuds!

Aversions
The smell of raw steak or steak cooking. Adam made steak a few times and I sat on the front stoop because I couldn’t stand the smell and I could smell it through the whole house. I also had an aversion to the smell of Chinese food but fortunately that only lasted a week or so.

My Physical State Included…
Boobs of steel...I had two rocks attached to my chest until week 11. Queasy like a beast. Peeing every 15 seconds. Extremely ridiculous nap time sessions. Headache from hell.

Symptoms I [Thankfully] Didn’t Have…
The “sickness” side of morning sickness…got sick a couple of times but not the all day everyday thing you hear about sometimes. Hard core mood swings... I was moody but I am a female soooo…there is that. Skin changes.

One Thing That Surprised Me…
How sweet Adam has been. He is a sweet guy, don’t get me wrong, but he has surprised me a few times going above what I would expect from him. I was in the shower trying to get my throbbing head under control and he drew me a bath, added bubble bath, got a towel to use as a pillow and left me to soak. He even asked me if I wanted him to get me a book to read while I soaked. I love him.

Baby Names and Nicknames
We do have our names picked out but we aren’t advertising them online until we find out the gender (September 22^nd). I have started calling the baby Squirt because my nickname is Turtle and this is the Tiny Turtle and the Tiny Turtle in the mivie ‘Finding Nemo’ is Squirt. “Duuuuude! You totally rock, Squirt!” I also call it My Little Parasite if I am feeling like crap because, by definition, it is a parasite. A cute wittle parasite.

Looking Forward To…
More energy, less headache, a bump instead of a bloat, feeling the baby move, finding out the gender so we know who is in there (ENS or CKS?)

So there ya go. A long winded first trimester recap. Great party!

~Turtle

The post where I discuss how being pregnant has made me even weirder than I already am.....

I got home from the grocery store today with an arm load of bags...

Adam: "What's all this?"
Me: "Food."
Adam: "Since when do you do grocery shopping???"
Me: "Since the alien in my belly told me I had to."

I feel the need to mention that I peed on a stick before I was even late. Why you ask. Because I ordered green peppers on my pizza. I am a pepperoni and ham person. Religiously. Creature of habit. Ham and pepperoni, pepperoni and ham. I ordered a personal pizza for lunch.... ham, pineapple, green pepper and red onion. It was delicious. When I got home from work I told Adam I had Hungry Howies for lunch. He said that sounded good so....for dinner I ordered two larges. One with pepperoni and bacon....the other with ham, green pepper and red onion. Something was up. (That combined with the fact that the chesticles had been screaming "NO TOUCHY" for nearly two weeks kinda made me wonder what the hell was going on.)

Besides the three positive pee sticks and the blood test telling me I am.....here are some of the other ways I am weirder now than I used to be (which is saying something...being normal is highly overrated).

You know you're pregnant when...
*you are standing in the baby section of Walmart and your eyes start leaking.
*you laugh so hard you cry watching a 34 second long video of baby goats (and you watch it repeatedly)
Video found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2_-i_cohMM
*you start to parannoy the SHIT out of yourself (parannoy.....annoyingly paranoid) "Hey, water bottle that I have never had a problem with before....do you have BPA or whatever...are you trying to kill us???? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!"    "Hey, I am gonna wipe down my office.... hello, Clorox wipes that I use like its my job... lets get to work....wipey wipey wipey...wait...there is something about these things that I should be remembering.... OH SHIT BLEACH I AM BREATHING BLEACH FUMES OH MY GOD I AM KILLING THE SMALLISH CHILD SONOFABITCH!!!!!!"
*you randomly gag at the sight of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag at the smell of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag at the thought of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag for absolutely no reason at all whatsoever.
*you are asked by a coworker why you have a stink face on and you reply, "I am trying to not throw up on your boots."
*you catch yourself staring at babies....I mean REALLY staring at babies...and when you realize you are staring at a baby you hope to GOD the parental unit is not staring at you as you stare at their baby.
*you are so damn tired you can hardly stand it.....
*you go to four different stores looking for a certain type of cocoa butter cream because "this one doesn't smell right....that one doesn't smell right either..."
*your "seal has been permanently broken" because you pee ALL THE DAMN TIME
*you are scatterbrained and squirrely enough as it is but you LITERALLY forget the word 'chalkboard' and you have an impromptu game of Taboo with a coworker until they guess 'chalkboard?' and you say "YES! Thank you...good GOD that was ridiculous." They reply with, "Really? Already". You reply back that this might just be normal you......

I swear... I didn't know all the crazy started at 4-5 weeks. How is it that some women don't know they're pregnant until 8 weeks.... 10 weeks..... delivery....

I have gone from normal for me to ridiculous in less than a week. I was normal on Saturday....I ate green pepper infested pizza on Sunday...peed on a stick Monday...peed on two more and got a blood test Tuesday.....today is Thursday and I am weird.

Yep. The next 35ish weeks are gonna be a trip. Literally....they call me Murphy for a reason.....