Okay. This is going to be one of those posts where I ramble and string thoughts from one thing to another because I am irritated.
I apologize in advance if I piss anyone off.
Adam was watching an interview with the nephew of the man that died in Dallas from Ebola. I can't find the video now to reference it but as he was watching it I was yelling at his phone as if the man could actually hear me.
And I quote.... "If he hadn't been a black man he would still be alive."
Really? You're gonna throw the race card? Really?
I do not consider myself to be a racist person. I look at the person as a whole rather than the color of their skin. I will form opinions based on your stupidity levels...not your color. That being said we can move on.
Yes, the hospital made mistakes. They were unprepared and uneducated and did not have the odds in their favor when Mr. Duncan came in. Yes, they screwed up and sent him home even though he was sick. Do I think that had anything to do with him being black? No. Uninsured? That is more in the realm of things possible. I have been on the receiving end of shitty hospital care because I was uninsured. It does happen. They should have taken into account that he had just come from Liberia and considered Ebola as a possibility....but they didn't. Americans tend to live in their "oh that won't happen here" bubble and it bites us in the ass on more than one occasion.
Another thing Americans tend to do is expect everything to work out because we are in America. Life doesn't work out that way. So sorry. I think Mr. Duncan's chances of survival were higher here than in Liberia. As I said before, I think the hospital was ill prepared to deal with an Ebola case and it is unfortunate that Mr. Duncan died but I don't think he would have had great chances in Liberia where, most of the people that are sick and dying are black. If he had died there then would his nephew be saying, "If he hadn't been a black man he would still be alive"?
Two nurses have tested positive for Ebola. News flash....one of them is black.....one is not. They are receiving care and hopefully they will not die. Does the non-black one have to die to prove this isn't a race issue? Seriously. If the black nurse dies is this gonna turn into a Ferguson issue?
Oh, and THAT lovely gem of current events. White, black, purple, orange or maroon....if you act like a thug and threaten a police officer...you will get shot. If you SHOOT at a police officer THEY WILL SHOOT BACK. For the love of GOD and all things holy...if you act like a thug you will be treated like one. Yes...in some cases that have occurred I do believe that the police were in the wrong and that racial profiling did occur. I think that is a shame and it is sad that it does happen. But more often than not the person lives up to their stereotypes and that is why the police react the way they do. The case of the foster kid that was black getting pepper sprayed in an assumed robbery...he was calm until the police asked him why his pictures weren't on the mantel in his white foster family's house if he lived there like he said he did. He got pissed and wouldn't calm down and came at the cops forcefully and angry...he was warned to calm down and didn't....so they sprayed him.
Moral of the story.... if you don't want the color of your skin to be an issue don't make the color of your skin such a big damn deal.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
The post where I discuss the alien in my belly
I had many people tell me what it would feel like when I finally felt Cain move....
"It feels like bubbles popping."
"It feels like gas but you never fart."
"It feels like when you're in a pool and you wave your hand close to your stomach and the current pushes on your skin....but on the inside."
"It feels like when you drive over a bump in the road and your stomach lifts."
That all may be true and accurate descriptions but I would like to add one to the list....
"It feels like you just ate a taco. A delicious taco...nice and spicy...perfect amount of grease. You obliterate the taco and relax on the couch. But then something happens in the intestinal area. The taco has come to life and wants out and the preferable route for the taco's exit is through your belly button.... Welcome to pregnancy...you have an alien in your belly that loves tacos."
I felt Cain move around 20w1d pregnant. I felt him move on the outside (and so did Adam) at 21w2d. I caught him on video thumping his way around my uterus at 21w4d.... This is also the approximate timeline that I went from food baby bump to actual baby bump status....
I still don't quite "feel" pregnant...but I think I will soon... I have a banana sized baby that likes to sit on my bladder soooooooo......
~Turtle
"It feels like bubbles popping."
"It feels like gas but you never fart."
"It feels like when you're in a pool and you wave your hand close to your stomach and the current pushes on your skin....but on the inside."
"It feels like when you drive over a bump in the road and your stomach lifts."
That all may be true and accurate descriptions but I would like to add one to the list....
"It feels like you just ate a taco. A delicious taco...nice and spicy...perfect amount of grease. You obliterate the taco and relax on the couch. But then something happens in the intestinal area. The taco has come to life and wants out and the preferable route for the taco's exit is through your belly button.... Welcome to pregnancy...you have an alien in your belly that loves tacos."
I felt Cain move around 20w1d pregnant. I felt him move on the outside (and so did Adam) at 21w2d. I caught him on video thumping his way around my uterus at 21w4d.... This is also the approximate timeline that I went from food baby bump to actual baby bump status....
~Turtle
Sunday, October 12, 2014
The post where I discuss a fear and reveal the gender to blog land
I am terrified of smallish children.
No really. You may think I am kidding but I am not. Smallish children fresh from the uterus scare the living bajeezus out of me. They are essentially bobbleheads with broken springs.
I have been terrified of broken bobbleheaded babies since I can remember.
Example: When I was just about to start fifth grade my best friend Erin acquired a little sister named Regan. I wouldn't hold her. I would look at her and make dorky faces and play with her but when asked if I wanted to hold her I decided that I needed to be as far away from her as I possibly could get. I don't remember which one of the Stacey family finally called me out for being terrified but I do remember when I finally "held" her...
She was probably about six months old or so...big enough to be sitting up on her own... and she was playing in Brendan's room. I remember arguing with someone about how I was NOT afraid to hold her and I was finally like, "Fine!" So... I went into Brendan's room, sat on the floor behind her and put my hands on her waist. When someone asked if I was gonna hold her I said, "I AM holding her!"
Since then I have gotten better about it. Once the bobblehead's spring is strong enough to support its own noggin' I am all about cuddling the cute little boogers. I will hold them prior to that milestone but in all honesty I am internally freaking out. I hold them long enough to pretend I am not terrified and then I am looking for someone....anyone...who wants to hold it more than I do. The only time I am semi comfortable is if I am sitting when I am handed the baby, the baby is sleeping so it is not moving and I am not required to move...at all. If I need to get up....someone else takes the baby before I get up. If the baby starts to squirm....someone else takes the baby because I have suddenly found a very important reason why I need to get up. If I am standing when holding the baby I will only stand long enough to find someone else to hold the baby or to find a place to sit.
And if I am standing and the baby starts to squirm.....Oh dear GOD someone take the baby.
Why am I rambling on and on about my fear of the weak necked newborns? Beeeecaauuuseeee I am about to HAVE one.
I am not terrified to give birth. I am not terrified to have a baby. I am excited. I love babies. But I am terrified of being alone with a broken spring bobblehead. I know I will be fine and motherly instincts will kick in and all that jazz... I know that... but that is what I am scared of....holding him and feeling like a shitty mother for wanting to play pass the baby because I am terrified.
Oh yeah....by the way....it is a boy. Here is (as Adam calls it) the "junk seen from space".
Yeah... I am terrified of my unborn broken spring bobbleheaded boy.
Don't judge me.
~Turtle
No really. You may think I am kidding but I am not. Smallish children fresh from the uterus scare the living bajeezus out of me. They are essentially bobbleheads with broken springs.
I have been terrified of broken bobbleheaded babies since I can remember.
Example: When I was just about to start fifth grade my best friend Erin acquired a little sister named Regan. I wouldn't hold her. I would look at her and make dorky faces and play with her but when asked if I wanted to hold her I decided that I needed to be as far away from her as I possibly could get. I don't remember which one of the Stacey family finally called me out for being terrified but I do remember when I finally "held" her...
She was probably about six months old or so...big enough to be sitting up on her own... and she was playing in Brendan's room. I remember arguing with someone about how I was NOT afraid to hold her and I was finally like, "Fine!" So... I went into Brendan's room, sat on the floor behind her and put my hands on her waist. When someone asked if I was gonna hold her I said, "I AM holding her!"
Since then I have gotten better about it. Once the bobblehead's spring is strong enough to support its own noggin' I am all about cuddling the cute little boogers. I will hold them prior to that milestone but in all honesty I am internally freaking out. I hold them long enough to pretend I am not terrified and then I am looking for someone....anyone...who wants to hold it more than I do. The only time I am semi comfortable is if I am sitting when I am handed the baby, the baby is sleeping so it is not moving and I am not required to move...at all. If I need to get up....someone else takes the baby before I get up. If the baby starts to squirm....someone else takes the baby because I have suddenly found a very important reason why I need to get up. If I am standing when holding the baby I will only stand long enough to find someone else to hold the baby or to find a place to sit.
And if I am standing and the baby starts to squirm.....Oh dear GOD someone take the baby.
Why am I rambling on and on about my fear of the weak necked newborns? Beeeecaauuuseeee I am about to HAVE one.
I am not terrified to give birth. I am not terrified to have a baby. I am excited. I love babies. But I am terrified of being alone with a broken spring bobblehead. I know I will be fine and motherly instincts will kick in and all that jazz... I know that... but that is what I am scared of....holding him and feeling like a shitty mother for wanting to play pass the baby because I am terrified.
Oh yeah....by the way....it is a boy. Here is (as Adam calls it) the "junk seen from space".
Yeah... I am terrified of my unborn broken spring bobbleheaded boy.
Don't judge me.
~Turtle
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
The post where I discuss the first trimester...
The first trimester is behind me. It went by fast and slow at the same time…. “Wow, I am already 12 weeks!” (Five minutes later) “Ugh, I am only 12 weeks…”
Being in Oklahoma and having most of my family and friends in New York and Michigan I tend to rely on Facebook as a way to keep everyone in the loop. I am not a very private person when it comes to things I am excited about (clearly….I was only four weeks pregnant when we announced to the world. Screw that whole ‘wait til the second trimester thing’. The only way I would have been able to do that is if I disabled my Facebook account). A few years ago I pulled an April Fool’s joke where I posted “Today’s forecast is cloudy with a 100% chance of morning sickness.” People were not amused. Some got downright pissed off. I told myself that when I did get pregnant I wasn’t going to tell anyone except my parents and a couple of friends until I was around seven months pregnant and post a photo of my big ol belly with the caption, “See kids….this is why you don’t eat watermelon seeds” and then have everyone freak because they didn’t know yet. Clearly that didn’t happen. I was just too excited to keep my mouth shut. Anywho…anyone that reads my Facebook posts knows my first trimester was a little rough in some aspects but over all it could have been worse….and there were some moments that were pretty damn good.
So without further ado…. here is my long winded first trimester recap.
Finding Out and Telling Family
I touched on this in my last post. I wasn’t even late yet. I ordered a weird pizza topping and ate the crap out of it and I peed on the stick because…well….why not. I had been in Texas Memorial Day weekend and Kerri gave me a “baby goodie bag” with ovulation strips, two pregnancy tests and a baby outfit. I did one of the ovulation tests when I got home and the line was faint…I did another one the next day and the line was gone. I figured I had missed the window for the month. (I am pretty sure we conceived over that weekend…so the chance wasn’t missed…but I didn’t know that then.) So June 9th, for shits and giggles, I peed on a stick from the “goodie bag”. I had peed on several sticks in the past, all negative and I didn’t expect this one to be any different so I didn’t wait the prescribed time. No line. I threw it out.
About an hour later I had to pee again so I was sitting there doing my thing and something in my mind made me fish the test out of the trash can. There was a line. A very faint one but still…..a line. I took a picture, sent it to Kerri (June 9th is, by the way, Kerri’s birthday) with the caption, “IS THAT A MFNG LINE?!?!?!?” She said it was but when I told her it had been a little over an hour she said it could be an evaporation line and a false positive and to try again in the morning. So I calmly went back into the living room with Adam…didn’t say a word… and continued to watch TV. No big deal. I figured it was gonna be negative in the morning.
5AM rolls around. I wake up and stumble into the bathroom. Take the remaining pee stick from the “goodie bag”, do my thing and let the dogs out while I waited for it to season. Verdict…..line. Not as faint as the one the night before. An actual legit line. So I took a picture at ass crack dawn, sent it to Kerri with the caption, “Okay….now THAT is an mfing line!” and got ready for work. I was still calm. I had expected that when the day came that a pee stick was positive I would be bouncing off the walls but no….call it shock or disbelief or something but I was very much like, “Okay. Cool. I’m pregnant. Where are my work boots?”
I still didn’t tell Adam. I went to work. Went to medical. Had a blood test done. They said they would call me in a couple hours. Went back to work. Peed on a third stick…positive. Got the call and the lady was all, “Okay you need to schedule a pregnancy resource meeting blah blah blah…” I asked her if that meant the blood test was positive. She goes, “Oh! Yes! Congratulations.” I still didn’t freak out. I went home and grabbed the shirt I had made a few months back to tell Adam with (the “Looks like we need to find some stairs” shirt), called him and asked him if he wanted to go to lunch with me, met him in the parking lot of his work and had the shirt on over my uniform. He said, “Oh geez” and gave me a huge hug. (He insists he did not say “oh geez” but I have it on tape :-p) On the way to the BX for lunch I was babbling away and he was silent. I finally asked him if he was okay or if he was freaking out or what was going on in his mind and he said, “This is me emotional.” I glanced at him and he had a big shit eatin’ grin on his face. :-) He told me later that he knew I was gonna tell him I was pregnant because I had never asked him to go to lunch before. Hahaha.
After work we put on our silly shirts and had Chris take a picture to use as our announcement. Before I posted it we called our parents and I called a couple of Aunts, Uncles and friends that I didn’t want to have find out via FB and get upset. His parents and siblings were excited and happy for us. I don’t know exactly what they said since he made those calls but here are my parents reactions:
My Mom: I told her that Mooshie and Midnight were going to be sad because they were going to have to share Memaw’s love and attention with a human baby. She didn’t freak like I thought she would (like mother like daughter since I didn’t freak like I thought I would either). She said she was happy and congratulated us and was excited. :-)
My Dad: I asked him about the job he was on and where he was headed next. I asked him where he thought he was going to be in February. He said, “Not here.” I told him that wherever he ended up at that time he was gonna have to swing by OKC to meet his Grandbaby. There was a five second pause and he said, “I just might have to do that.” Then he told his buddy I was pregnant and then he goes, “It’s about damn time!” Hahaha.
I have to share Nickie’s reaction too because it was pretty priceless… We have a thing about the movie Juno. She was working and wasn’t answering her phone and finally texted me to get me to stop blowing her pocket up. I told her she needed to call me because I had to tell her something. When she got a moment she called and told me, “You have about five seconds.” So I said, “Yo yo giggity yo. My eggo of preggo and this ain’t no food baby.” She freaked. “ARE YOU F-ING SERIOUS?!??!” Then the five second rule went out the window and she was in planning mode…talking baby showers and shit. I told her to slow her roll since the kid didn’t even have a face yet. Hahahaha. She cracks me up.
Then we posted this picture on FB and our phones blew up for a few days with notifications, texts and calls. :-)
Most Exciting Moment…
The first ultrasound. Adam went with me and the doc (Dr. Heather Jones at OU is who I chose to be my OB) did her measurements and what not then told Adam to stand by my head. She turned the monitor around so we could see it and there was our baby. A little teeny Squirt chillin’ upside down. We could see it’s little legs and the heartbeat flickering away. We were staring at it, grinning like idiots and suddenly it started wiggling around like it was putting on a show. I don’t think it had really sunk in that there was a smallish child in there until that moment. Seeing it move even though I couldn’t feel it was pretty surreal. It is amazing what a woman’s body can do and how a few cells can become that little wiggle worm. It’s amazing and a little creepy too haha.
Most Challenging Moment…
This damn headache I have had for over a month has created some challenging moments. The worst by far was having Skipper asking what I wanted him to do because my head hurt so much I couldn’t stop crying. That goes down as the most embarrassing moment so far too. I have never had such a terrible headache before. Hopefully it doesn’t get that bad again because that was a little ridiculous.
One Thing I’m Proud Of…
I (so far) haven’t taken pregnancy as meaning an eating free for all. I’ve kept pretty healthy and sensible with my eating. I gained three pounds weeks 4-12 and lost all three during week 13 because it is hard to be hungry when your head is throbbing. I am hoping the hunger kicks in soon so Doc doesn’t kill me for not gaining any weight by my next appointment.
One Thing I Wish Were Different…
The only thing I would change is the headache. I didn’t really want to take any medicine while pregnant and there were times where I literally couldn’t function without it. Sucky.
Cravings
Baked potatoes (potatoes in any form really), orange juice and spicy foods showed up repeatedly during the first trimester. The only one that is still around is potatoes. I love me some spuds!
Aversions
The smell of raw steak or steak cooking. Adam made steak a few times and I sat on the front stoop because I couldn’t stand the smell and I could smell it through the whole house. I also had an aversion to the smell of Chinese food but fortunately that only lasted a week or so.
My Physical State Included…
Boobs of steel...I had two rocks attached to my chest until week 11. Queasy like a beast. Peeing every 15 seconds. Extremely ridiculous nap time sessions. Headache from hell.
Symptoms I [Thankfully] Didn’t Have…
The “sickness” side of morning sickness…got sick a couple of times but not the all day everyday thing you hear about sometimes. Hard core mood swings... I was moody but I am a female soooo…there is that. Skin changes.
One Thing That Surprised Me…
How sweet Adam has been. He is a sweet guy, don’t get me wrong, but he has surprised me a few times going above what I would expect from him. I was in the shower trying to get my throbbing head under control and he drew me a bath, added bubble bath, got a towel to use as a pillow and left me to soak. He even asked me if I wanted him to get me a book to read while I soaked. I love him.
Baby Names and Nicknames
We do have our names picked out but we aren’t advertising them online until we find out the gender (September 22nd). I have started calling the baby Squirt because my nickname is Turtle and this is the Tiny Turtle and the Tiny Turtle in the mivie ‘Finding Nemo’ is Squirt. “Duuuuude! You totally rock, Squirt!” I also call it My Little Parasite if I am feeling like crap because, by definition, it is a parasite. A cute wittle parasite.
Looking Forward To…
More energy, less headache, a bump instead of a bloat, feeling the baby move, finding out the gender so we know who is in there (ENS or CKS?)
So there ya go. A long winded first trimester recap. Great party!
~Turtle
Being in Oklahoma and having most of my family and friends in New York and Michigan I tend to rely on Facebook as a way to keep everyone in the loop. I am not a very private person when it comes to things I am excited about (clearly….I was only four weeks pregnant when we announced to the world. Screw that whole ‘wait til the second trimester thing’. The only way I would have been able to do that is if I disabled my Facebook account). A few years ago I pulled an April Fool’s joke where I posted “Today’s forecast is cloudy with a 100% chance of morning sickness.” People were not amused. Some got downright pissed off. I told myself that when I did get pregnant I wasn’t going to tell anyone except my parents and a couple of friends until I was around seven months pregnant and post a photo of my big ol belly with the caption, “See kids….this is why you don’t eat watermelon seeds” and then have everyone freak because they didn’t know yet. Clearly that didn’t happen. I was just too excited to keep my mouth shut. Anywho…anyone that reads my Facebook posts knows my first trimester was a little rough in some aspects but over all it could have been worse….and there were some moments that were pretty damn good.
So without further ado…. here is my long winded first trimester recap.
Finding Out and Telling Family
I touched on this in my last post. I wasn’t even late yet. I ordered a weird pizza topping and ate the crap out of it and I peed on the stick because…well….why not. I had been in Texas Memorial Day weekend and Kerri gave me a “baby goodie bag” with ovulation strips, two pregnancy tests and a baby outfit. I did one of the ovulation tests when I got home and the line was faint…I did another one the next day and the line was gone. I figured I had missed the window for the month. (I am pretty sure we conceived over that weekend…so the chance wasn’t missed…but I didn’t know that then.) So June 9th, for shits and giggles, I peed on a stick from the “goodie bag”. I had peed on several sticks in the past, all negative and I didn’t expect this one to be any different so I didn’t wait the prescribed time. No line. I threw it out.
About an hour later I had to pee again so I was sitting there doing my thing and something in my mind made me fish the test out of the trash can. There was a line. A very faint one but still…..a line. I took a picture, sent it to Kerri (June 9th is, by the way, Kerri’s birthday) with the caption, “IS THAT A MFNG LINE?!?!?!?” She said it was but when I told her it had been a little over an hour she said it could be an evaporation line and a false positive and to try again in the morning. So I calmly went back into the living room with Adam…didn’t say a word… and continued to watch TV. No big deal. I figured it was gonna be negative in the morning.
5AM rolls around. I wake up and stumble into the bathroom. Take the remaining pee stick from the “goodie bag”, do my thing and let the dogs out while I waited for it to season. Verdict…..line. Not as faint as the one the night before. An actual legit line. So I took a picture at ass crack dawn, sent it to Kerri with the caption, “Okay….now THAT is an mfing line!” and got ready for work. I was still calm. I had expected that when the day came that a pee stick was positive I would be bouncing off the walls but no….call it shock or disbelief or something but I was very much like, “Okay. Cool. I’m pregnant. Where are my work boots?”
I still didn’t tell Adam. I went to work. Went to medical. Had a blood test done. They said they would call me in a couple hours. Went back to work. Peed on a third stick…positive. Got the call and the lady was all, “Okay you need to schedule a pregnancy resource meeting blah blah blah…” I asked her if that meant the blood test was positive. She goes, “Oh! Yes! Congratulations.” I still didn’t freak out. I went home and grabbed the shirt I had made a few months back to tell Adam with (the “Looks like we need to find some stairs” shirt), called him and asked him if he wanted to go to lunch with me, met him in the parking lot of his work and had the shirt on over my uniform. He said, “Oh geez” and gave me a huge hug. (He insists he did not say “oh geez” but I have it on tape :-p) On the way to the BX for lunch I was babbling away and he was silent. I finally asked him if he was okay or if he was freaking out or what was going on in his mind and he said, “This is me emotional.” I glanced at him and he had a big shit eatin’ grin on his face. :-) He told me later that he knew I was gonna tell him I was pregnant because I had never asked him to go to lunch before. Hahaha.
After work we put on our silly shirts and had Chris take a picture to use as our announcement. Before I posted it we called our parents and I called a couple of Aunts, Uncles and friends that I didn’t want to have find out via FB and get upset. His parents and siblings were excited and happy for us. I don’t know exactly what they said since he made those calls but here are my parents reactions:
My Mom: I told her that Mooshie and Midnight were going to be sad because they were going to have to share Memaw’s love and attention with a human baby. She didn’t freak like I thought she would (like mother like daughter since I didn’t freak like I thought I would either). She said she was happy and congratulated us and was excited. :-)
My Dad: I asked him about the job he was on and where he was headed next. I asked him where he thought he was going to be in February. He said, “Not here.” I told him that wherever he ended up at that time he was gonna have to swing by OKC to meet his Grandbaby. There was a five second pause and he said, “I just might have to do that.” Then he told his buddy I was pregnant and then he goes, “It’s about damn time!” Hahaha.
I have to share Nickie’s reaction too because it was pretty priceless… We have a thing about the movie Juno. She was working and wasn’t answering her phone and finally texted me to get me to stop blowing her pocket up. I told her she needed to call me because I had to tell her something. When she got a moment she called and told me, “You have about five seconds.” So I said, “Yo yo giggity yo. My eggo of preggo and this ain’t no food baby.” She freaked. “ARE YOU F-ING SERIOUS?!??!” Then the five second rule went out the window and she was in planning mode…talking baby showers and shit. I told her to slow her roll since the kid didn’t even have a face yet. Hahahaha. She cracks me up.
Then we posted this picture on FB and our phones blew up for a few days with notifications, texts and calls. :-)
Most Exciting Moment…
The first ultrasound. Adam went with me and the doc (Dr. Heather Jones at OU is who I chose to be my OB) did her measurements and what not then told Adam to stand by my head. She turned the monitor around so we could see it and there was our baby. A little teeny Squirt chillin’ upside down. We could see it’s little legs and the heartbeat flickering away. We were staring at it, grinning like idiots and suddenly it started wiggling around like it was putting on a show. I don’t think it had really sunk in that there was a smallish child in there until that moment. Seeing it move even though I couldn’t feel it was pretty surreal. It is amazing what a woman’s body can do and how a few cells can become that little wiggle worm. It’s amazing and a little creepy too haha.
Most Challenging Moment…
This damn headache I have had for over a month has created some challenging moments. The worst by far was having Skipper asking what I wanted him to do because my head hurt so much I couldn’t stop crying. That goes down as the most embarrassing moment so far too. I have never had such a terrible headache before. Hopefully it doesn’t get that bad again because that was a little ridiculous.
One Thing I’m Proud Of…
I (so far) haven’t taken pregnancy as meaning an eating free for all. I’ve kept pretty healthy and sensible with my eating. I gained three pounds weeks 4-12 and lost all three during week 13 because it is hard to be hungry when your head is throbbing. I am hoping the hunger kicks in soon so Doc doesn’t kill me for not gaining any weight by my next appointment.
One Thing I Wish Were Different…
The only thing I would change is the headache. I didn’t really want to take any medicine while pregnant and there were times where I literally couldn’t function without it. Sucky.
Cravings
Baked potatoes (potatoes in any form really), orange juice and spicy foods showed up repeatedly during the first trimester. The only one that is still around is potatoes. I love me some spuds!
Aversions
The smell of raw steak or steak cooking. Adam made steak a few times and I sat on the front stoop because I couldn’t stand the smell and I could smell it through the whole house. I also had an aversion to the smell of Chinese food but fortunately that only lasted a week or so.
My Physical State Included…
Boobs of steel...I had two rocks attached to my chest until week 11. Queasy like a beast. Peeing every 15 seconds. Extremely ridiculous nap time sessions. Headache from hell.
Symptoms I [Thankfully] Didn’t Have…
The “sickness” side of morning sickness…got sick a couple of times but not the all day everyday thing you hear about sometimes. Hard core mood swings... I was moody but I am a female soooo…there is that. Skin changes.
One Thing That Surprised Me…
How sweet Adam has been. He is a sweet guy, don’t get me wrong, but he has surprised me a few times going above what I would expect from him. I was in the shower trying to get my throbbing head under control and he drew me a bath, added bubble bath, got a towel to use as a pillow and left me to soak. He even asked me if I wanted him to get me a book to read while I soaked. I love him.
Baby Names and Nicknames
We do have our names picked out but we aren’t advertising them online until we find out the gender (September 22nd). I have started calling the baby Squirt because my nickname is Turtle and this is the Tiny Turtle and the Tiny Turtle in the mivie ‘Finding Nemo’ is Squirt. “Duuuuude! You totally rock, Squirt!” I also call it My Little Parasite if I am feeling like crap because, by definition, it is a parasite. A cute wittle parasite.
Looking Forward To…
More energy, less headache, a bump instead of a bloat, feeling the baby move, finding out the gender so we know who is in there (ENS or CKS?)
So there ya go. A long winded first trimester recap. Great party!
~Turtle
Thursday, June 12, 2014
The post where I discuss how being pregnant has made me even weirder than I already am.....
I got home from the grocery store today with an arm load of bags...
Adam: "What's all this?"
Me: "Food."
Adam: "Since when do you do grocery shopping???"
Me: "Since the alien in my belly told me I had to."
I feel the need to mention that I peed on a stick before I was even late. Why you ask. Because I ordered green peppers on my pizza. I am a pepperoni and ham person. Religiously. Creature of habit. Ham and pepperoni, pepperoni and ham. I ordered a personal pizza for lunch.... ham, pineapple, green pepper and red onion. It was delicious. When I got home from work I told Adam I had Hungry Howies for lunch. He said that sounded good so....for dinner I ordered two larges. One with pepperoni and bacon....the other with ham, green pepper and red onion. Something was up. (That combined with the fact that the chesticles had been screaming "NO TOUCHY" for nearly two weeks kinda made me wonder what the hell was going on.)
Besides the three positive pee sticks and the blood test telling me I am.....here are some of the other ways I am weirder now than I used to be (which is saying something...being normal is highly overrated).
You know you're pregnant when...
*you are standing in the baby section of Walmart and your eyes start leaking.
*you laugh so hard you cry watching a 34 second long video of baby goats (and you watch it repeatedly)
Video found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2_-i_cohMM
*you start to parannoy the SHIT out of yourself (parannoy.....annoyingly paranoid) "Hey, water bottle that I have never had a problem with before....do you have BPA or whatever...are you trying to kill us???? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!" "Hey, I am gonna wipe down my office.... hello, Clorox wipes that I use like its my job... lets get to work....wipey wipey wipey...wait...there is something about these things that I should be remembering.... OH SHIT BLEACH I AM BREATHING BLEACH FUMES OH MY GOD I AM KILLING THE SMALLISH CHILD SONOFABITCH!!!!!!"
*you randomly gag at the sight of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag at the smell of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag at the thought of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag for absolutely no reason at all whatsoever.
*you are asked by a coworker why you have a stink face on and you reply, "I am trying to not throw up on your boots."
*you catch yourself staring at babies....I mean REALLY staring at babies...and when you realize you are staring at a baby you hope to GOD the parental unit is not staring at you as you stare at their baby.
*you are so damn tired you can hardly stand it.....
*you go to four different stores looking for a certain type of cocoa butter cream because "this one doesn't smell right....that one doesn't smell right either..."
*your "seal has been permanently broken" because you pee ALL THE DAMN TIME
*you are scatterbrained and squirrely enough as it is but you LITERALLY forget the word 'chalkboard' and you have an impromptu game of Taboo with a coworker until they guess 'chalkboard?' and you say "YES! Thank you...good GOD that was ridiculous." They reply with, "Really? Already". You reply back that this might just be normal you......
I swear... I didn't know all the crazy started at 4-5 weeks. How is it that some women don't know they're pregnant until 8 weeks.... 10 weeks..... delivery....
I have gone from normal for me to ridiculous in less than a week. I was normal on Saturday....I ate green pepper infested pizza on Sunday...peed on a stick Monday...peed on two more and got a blood test Tuesday.....today is Thursday and I am weird.
Yep. The next 35ish weeks are gonna be a trip. Literally....they call me Murphy for a reason.....
Adam: "What's all this?"
Me: "Food."
Adam: "Since when do you do grocery shopping???"
Me: "Since the alien in my belly told me I had to."
I feel the need to mention that I peed on a stick before I was even late. Why you ask. Because I ordered green peppers on my pizza. I am a pepperoni and ham person. Religiously. Creature of habit. Ham and pepperoni, pepperoni and ham. I ordered a personal pizza for lunch.... ham, pineapple, green pepper and red onion. It was delicious. When I got home from work I told Adam I had Hungry Howies for lunch. He said that sounded good so....for dinner I ordered two larges. One with pepperoni and bacon....the other with ham, green pepper and red onion. Something was up. (That combined with the fact that the chesticles had been screaming "NO TOUCHY" for nearly two weeks kinda made me wonder what the hell was going on.)
Besides the three positive pee sticks and the blood test telling me I am.....here are some of the other ways I am weirder now than I used to be (which is saying something...being normal is highly overrated).
You know you're pregnant when...
*you are standing in the baby section of Walmart and your eyes start leaking.
*you laugh so hard you cry watching a 34 second long video of baby goats (and you watch it repeatedly)
Video found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2_-i_cohMM
*you start to parannoy the SHIT out of yourself (parannoy.....annoyingly paranoid) "Hey, water bottle that I have never had a problem with before....do you have BPA or whatever...are you trying to kill us???? ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!!" "Hey, I am gonna wipe down my office.... hello, Clorox wipes that I use like its my job... lets get to work....wipey wipey wipey...wait...there is something about these things that I should be remembering.... OH SHIT BLEACH I AM BREATHING BLEACH FUMES OH MY GOD I AM KILLING THE SMALLISH CHILD SONOFABITCH!!!!!!"
*you randomly gag at the sight of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag at the smell of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag at the thought of something that, previously, had no effect on you whatsoever.
*you randomly gag for absolutely no reason at all whatsoever.
*you are asked by a coworker why you have a stink face on and you reply, "I am trying to not throw up on your boots."
*you catch yourself staring at babies....I mean REALLY staring at babies...and when you realize you are staring at a baby you hope to GOD the parental unit is not staring at you as you stare at their baby.
*you are so damn tired you can hardly stand it.....
*you go to four different stores looking for a certain type of cocoa butter cream because "this one doesn't smell right....that one doesn't smell right either..."
*your "seal has been permanently broken" because you pee ALL THE DAMN TIME
*you are scatterbrained and squirrely enough as it is but you LITERALLY forget the word 'chalkboard' and you have an impromptu game of Taboo with a coworker until they guess 'chalkboard?' and you say "YES! Thank you...good GOD that was ridiculous." They reply with, "Really? Already". You reply back that this might just be normal you......
I swear... I didn't know all the crazy started at 4-5 weeks. How is it that some women don't know they're pregnant until 8 weeks.... 10 weeks..... delivery....
I have gone from normal for me to ridiculous in less than a week. I was normal on Saturday....I ate green pepper infested pizza on Sunday...peed on a stick Monday...peed on two more and got a blood test Tuesday.....today is Thursday and I am weird.
Yep. The next 35ish weeks are gonna be a trip. Literally....they call me Murphy for a reason.....
Sunday, March 23, 2014
The post where I talk to my Minions directly regarding grades...
***
Mini background story before I get to the actual post....for those of you that read this and have no idea who "my Minions" are or why their grades are important to me...
I work at NOSC OKC and the Oklahoma City area Sea Cadet program uses our building for their drills. Their drill weekends usually match up with our drill weekends so there are smallish children running around the building in modified Navy uniforms all weekend long. I am the Sea Cadet Liaison at the NOSC which means that I am the buffer between the Sea Cadet program and Big Navy. If they need something they ask me and I take it to my chain of command and try to make it happen.
I call the Cadets my Minions. The Cadets call me their Honey Badger. It works.
In order to have a place in the Sea Cadet program each Minion must keep their grades up. If they don't....they are no longer able to be in the Sea Cadets and therefore....no longer able to be a Minion. I like Minions. Minions help me keep my sanity during drill. The more Minions I have the happier I am and I do not want to lose any because they can't get their grades up.
Mini background story complete..... On to the real purpose of this post.
***
Dear Minions,
You have had numerous people yelling at you, preaching to you and pleading with you about getting your grades up. I am not just talking to those of you with failing grades...I am talking to everyone. (Even if you have a B...that B could be an A.)
I have told you that I will help you with your classes and I mean that. I am not the best in some areas but I know how to use my resources to find someone or something that will help you understand something you can't do well. Some of you have taken me up on that offer and trust me...as good as it makes you feel to finally "get" something....it makes me feel even better knowing that I helped you.
I was number 17 in my class of 146 at the end of my junior year. I fought with everything in my power to get to the top twenty. I do not have natural brain ninja abilities like some of my friends. Some of my friends didn't have to study or try in school and they came out with straight A's. It was frustrating at times to spend hours studying for an exam and get an 88 when they didn't study at all and got a 98.
In my school district the top 18 girls and top two boys in the junior class were in the Daisy Chain. The Daisy Chain is a tradition where the members pick a billion and a half daisies and attach them to these ancient ropes then carry them into the graduation ceremony of the class ahead of them. My motivation to get to the top 18 girls in my class was the fact I wanted to be on the Daisy Chain. It may be a silly reason to work so hard but that was my reason. College opportunities, job opportunities etc were on my radar too....but that Daisy Chain is the one reason I fought so hard.
As I said before...good grades did not come naturally to me. I was an A student in most of my classes and got Bs in a few others. Math and chemistry were two classes that I just didn't understand. In fifth grade I got a 77 in math on my final report card. That was the only C I ever received and I literally bawled and begged my teacher to tell me how to sign up for summer school. He laughed at me and told me to go enjoy my summer vacation.
I am not saying you all have to be straight A students. I get that for some of you school doesn't come easy. I am saying that you all need to find something that motivates you to do whatever you have to do the best you are able to do. If that means requesting extra help and staying after school.... do it (I did...I spent a month of my 9th grade year going back to my 8th grade math teacher after school because I just didn't understand what the crap my 9th grade teacher was trying to teach). If that means swallowing your pride and asking a friend that understands the material better than you do for help...do it (I did... Admitting to a friend that they are smarter than you might not be easy but it is better in the long run). If that means telling the Honey Badger that you do need her to help you...do it (I might not be able to tell you how to do it because there are plenty of things I don't remember but I will find out how to do it or find someone else that can help you).
Pride is a very strong thing. Even now I can be too proud to admit that I need help. I HATE asking for help but if it is going to help me reach a goal I have I will (reluctantly) swallow my pride, blush six shades of lobster, and admit that I am not able to do it on my own.
My motivation to get into the Daisy Chain helped me in more ways than just getting on the Daisy Chain. I applied to two colleges when I was a senior. Only two. My dream school (Michigan State) and a back up (SUNY Geneseo).... I received a letter from Michigan State roughly three weeks after I sent in my application and it said, "Congratulations! We are happy to offer you a place in our Fall 2004 semester..."
If I hadn't busted my butt to be able to put flowers on a rope I might not have been accepted to MSU.
So.... I have a "motivating offer" for you all... If you can all get your grades up by the end of the school year I will do something for you. Minimum is to get them up to the standards the program says you have to have but if you have a B in a class....strive for a B+ or an A. Help each other get there. If you are good at math and you know a fellow Minion is failing....help them. If you are good at history find someone that isn't and help them. If you are struggling in a class reach out and see who is doing well and ask them for help.
Be a team....fight for and with each other.
I hate it when I am the center of attention. I hate having eyes on me and I get super embarrassed. I will do just about ANYTHING to ensure I am NOT the center of attention. So here is my offer. You all do whatever it takes to get your grades up and I will gladly put myself into a situation I strive to avoid and I will make sure hundreds of people see me...
I will dress like a total idiot... Bright colors, stupid wig...whatever. I will have a radio blasting crazy music and I will make a sign that says, "I told my Minions I would do this if they got their grades up." I will take my sign, my music and my idiotic attire and I will dance and stroll around the shopping center on 29th street promoting the Sea Cadet Program.
Even the thought of doing that makes me want to throw up a little.... but I am willing to do it if you are willing to work hard to make me do it.
So....tell me.... am I gonna do it?
~Honey Badger
Mini background story before I get to the actual post....for those of you that read this and have no idea who "my Minions" are or why their grades are important to me...
I work at NOSC OKC and the Oklahoma City area Sea Cadet program uses our building for their drills. Their drill weekends usually match up with our drill weekends so there are smallish children running around the building in modified Navy uniforms all weekend long. I am the Sea Cadet Liaison at the NOSC which means that I am the buffer between the Sea Cadet program and Big Navy. If they need something they ask me and I take it to my chain of command and try to make it happen.
I call the Cadets my Minions. The Cadets call me their Honey Badger. It works.
In order to have a place in the Sea Cadet program each Minion must keep their grades up. If they don't....they are no longer able to be in the Sea Cadets and therefore....no longer able to be a Minion. I like Minions. Minions help me keep my sanity during drill. The more Minions I have the happier I am and I do not want to lose any because they can't get their grades up.
Mini background story complete..... On to the real purpose of this post.
***
Dear Minions,
You have had numerous people yelling at you, preaching to you and pleading with you about getting your grades up. I am not just talking to those of you with failing grades...I am talking to everyone. (Even if you have a B...that B could be an A.)
I have told you that I will help you with your classes and I mean that. I am not the best in some areas but I know how to use my resources to find someone or something that will help you understand something you can't do well. Some of you have taken me up on that offer and trust me...as good as it makes you feel to finally "get" something....it makes me feel even better knowing that I helped you.
I was number 17 in my class of 146 at the end of my junior year. I fought with everything in my power to get to the top twenty. I do not have natural brain ninja abilities like some of my friends. Some of my friends didn't have to study or try in school and they came out with straight A's. It was frustrating at times to spend hours studying for an exam and get an 88 when they didn't study at all and got a 98.
In my school district the top 18 girls and top two boys in the junior class were in the Daisy Chain. The Daisy Chain is a tradition where the members pick a billion and a half daisies and attach them to these ancient ropes then carry them into the graduation ceremony of the class ahead of them. My motivation to get to the top 18 girls in my class was the fact I wanted to be on the Daisy Chain. It may be a silly reason to work so hard but that was my reason. College opportunities, job opportunities etc were on my radar too....but that Daisy Chain is the one reason I fought so hard.
As I said before...good grades did not come naturally to me. I was an A student in most of my classes and got Bs in a few others. Math and chemistry were two classes that I just didn't understand. In fifth grade I got a 77 in math on my final report card. That was the only C I ever received and I literally bawled and begged my teacher to tell me how to sign up for summer school. He laughed at me and told me to go enjoy my summer vacation.
I am not saying you all have to be straight A students. I get that for some of you school doesn't come easy. I am saying that you all need to find something that motivates you to do whatever you have to do the best you are able to do. If that means requesting extra help and staying after school.... do it (I did...I spent a month of my 9th grade year going back to my 8th grade math teacher after school because I just didn't understand what the crap my 9th grade teacher was trying to teach). If that means swallowing your pride and asking a friend that understands the material better than you do for help...do it (I did... Admitting to a friend that they are smarter than you might not be easy but it is better in the long run). If that means telling the Honey Badger that you do need her to help you...do it (I might not be able to tell you how to do it because there are plenty of things I don't remember but I will find out how to do it or find someone else that can help you).
Pride is a very strong thing. Even now I can be too proud to admit that I need help. I HATE asking for help but if it is going to help me reach a goal I have I will (reluctantly) swallow my pride, blush six shades of lobster, and admit that I am not able to do it on my own.
My motivation to get into the Daisy Chain helped me in more ways than just getting on the Daisy Chain. I applied to two colleges when I was a senior. Only two. My dream school (Michigan State) and a back up (SUNY Geneseo).... I received a letter from Michigan State roughly three weeks after I sent in my application and it said, "Congratulations! We are happy to offer you a place in our Fall 2004 semester..."
If I hadn't busted my butt to be able to put flowers on a rope I might not have been accepted to MSU.
So.... I have a "motivating offer" for you all... If you can all get your grades up by the end of the school year I will do something for you. Minimum is to get them up to the standards the program says you have to have but if you have a B in a class....strive for a B+ or an A. Help each other get there. If you are good at math and you know a fellow Minion is failing....help them. If you are good at history find someone that isn't and help them. If you are struggling in a class reach out and see who is doing well and ask them for help.
Be a team....fight for and with each other.
I hate it when I am the center of attention. I hate having eyes on me and I get super embarrassed. I will do just about ANYTHING to ensure I am NOT the center of attention. So here is my offer. You all do whatever it takes to get your grades up and I will gladly put myself into a situation I strive to avoid and I will make sure hundreds of people see me...
I will dress like a total idiot... Bright colors, stupid wig...whatever. I will have a radio blasting crazy music and I will make a sign that says, "I told my Minions I would do this if they got their grades up." I will take my sign, my music and my idiotic attire and I will dance and stroll around the shopping center on 29th street promoting the Sea Cadet Program.
Even the thought of doing that makes me want to throw up a little.... but I am willing to do it if you are willing to work hard to make me do it.
So....tell me.... am I gonna do it?
~Honey Badger
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
The post where I....whatever....just read it....
This is the first post I am writing directly into the blog without first typing it into a word document and then copying it here. My whole blog description of "Rachelese" really applies here...
When 9/11 happened and the towers came down and the Pentagon was burning and a field in Pennsylvania had plane parts and body parts and luggage with the memories of the people that owned them burning in the grass..... I was in tenth grade. I wrote the following a few weeks after it happened. I was 15...
"America the beautiful. For liberty and justice for all. United we stand. In God we trust. These are all sayings Americans live by, the sayings into which Americans put their faith and hope. After the recent attacks on our nation, these sayings are said with a certain determination. It's as if a few simple words can strengthen the weakened spirits of Americans and fill our hearts with hope.
The terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon made Americans stumble but we will not fall. The hatred and determination of those responsible are not half as strong as the love and determination Americans have. America is internally divided by racial, social and political issues. It may take a few buildings to fall for us to come together, but when we do, we come together hard. With a force that should intimidate anyone that tries to do anything to America. We have become an angry mob of bees protecting our hive from intruders. We will protect America at all costs, just as bees protect their hive. More lives may be lost, but the people responsible will pay. We will make America free from fear and injustice. The thousands of people that lost their lives in the September 11th attack will be honored.
America. Land of the free and home of the brave."
After 9/11 the country banded together.... I don't think I heard the words "Republican" and "Democrat" until halfway through 2003.
Is it gonna take another attack on American soil for everyone (including the politicians) to wake the hell up and prioritize what is important enough to bicker about????
Seriously. I have friends that I love dearly....I get on Facebook and this person posts this about that and it is way Democrat.... I scroll down and that person posts that about this and it is way Republican....
I am in no way, shape or form knocking the beliefs anyone has.....I myself have strong ideas and values....and some are "Republican" and some are "Democrat". Example..... Marry whomever you want to...if you are a woman and you want to marry a woman...I think you should and I think you should have the same rights to benefits and what not that I have being married to a man....however, if anyone tries to take away my right to have guns in my house we are gonna have some issues.
Do you want to know who I voted for the last election? I didn't. I didn't vote. If I had I probably would have done a write in vote or whatever and voted for Midnight as president with Mooshie as her vice. Their first action as leaders would have been Beggin' Strips for all.
Seriously though....why should I vote when it isn't gonna matter anyway. Before anyone gets all "But Rachel...you are in the military...you shouldn't say these things".... I am not saying anything in this post that is knocking my boss. I am not saying anything about him that can be considered bad. I am not saying anything about anyone specific at all. I am, however, saying that those with the money make the calls and after the electoral votes are counted....we have no real say in what happens in this country. We like to think we do....but we don't.
We are blind. We are sleeping. I choose to be blind and sleeping because it hurts less than being informed but not able to do a damn thing about it. I choose to purposefully be uninformed and ignore the news and ignore what is going on around me because A) if I do...it will piss me off B) the job I chose to do says I can't speak out or partake in activities against certain things and if I inform myself...I might care too much about some things to keep my mouth shut. C) a combination of A and B ...and D).....if I am ignorant and stay in LaLa Land...somehow that makes me feel better.
Don't judge me for that..... don't judge me for staying in LaLa Land... with all the way left side stuff you see and the way right side stuff you see...how do you even know which is the "right" stuff? How do you know the opinion you have or the things you choose to believe are "correct"? What makes them "correct" or "right"...because so-n-so said so or this religion said so or you had a soup and a salad at lunch so it has to be true?
Sometimes people at work ask me "What do you think about yadda yadda blah blah overseas whatnots mclalala" and I give them a blank stare and they judge me because I am uniformed and wearing a uniform...
I wear the uniform because of what I wrote when I was 15 years old. I didn't join the military right out of high school like some people did...I didn't join because of 9/11. I joined because I am a damn American and I want to protect my homeland from whatever might threaten us.... But lately it seems that a lot of what threatens us is our own internal division and I can't fix that. It makes me sad.
It makes me very sad.
America. Land of the free and home of the brave....... please?
Keep livin' the American dream,
~Turtle
When 9/11 happened and the towers came down and the Pentagon was burning and a field in Pennsylvania had plane parts and body parts and luggage with the memories of the people that owned them burning in the grass..... I was in tenth grade. I wrote the following a few weeks after it happened. I was 15...
"America the beautiful. For liberty and justice for all. United we stand. In God we trust. These are all sayings Americans live by, the sayings into which Americans put their faith and hope. After the recent attacks on our nation, these sayings are said with a certain determination. It's as if a few simple words can strengthen the weakened spirits of Americans and fill our hearts with hope.
The terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon made Americans stumble but we will not fall. The hatred and determination of those responsible are not half as strong as the love and determination Americans have. America is internally divided by racial, social and political issues. It may take a few buildings to fall for us to come together, but when we do, we come together hard. With a force that should intimidate anyone that tries to do anything to America. We have become an angry mob of bees protecting our hive from intruders. We will protect America at all costs, just as bees protect their hive. More lives may be lost, but the people responsible will pay. We will make America free from fear and injustice. The thousands of people that lost their lives in the September 11th attack will be honored.
America. Land of the free and home of the brave."
After 9/11 the country banded together.... I don't think I heard the words "Republican" and "Democrat" until halfway through 2003.
Is it gonna take another attack on American soil for everyone (including the politicians) to wake the hell up and prioritize what is important enough to bicker about????
Seriously. I have friends that I love dearly....I get on Facebook and this person posts this about that and it is way Democrat.... I scroll down and that person posts that about this and it is way Republican....
I am in no way, shape or form knocking the beliefs anyone has.....I myself have strong ideas and values....and some are "Republican" and some are "Democrat". Example..... Marry whomever you want to...if you are a woman and you want to marry a woman...I think you should and I think you should have the same rights to benefits and what not that I have being married to a man....however, if anyone tries to take away my right to have guns in my house we are gonna have some issues.
Do you want to know who I voted for the last election? I didn't. I didn't vote. If I had I probably would have done a write in vote or whatever and voted for Midnight as president with Mooshie as her vice. Their first action as leaders would have been Beggin' Strips for all.
Seriously though....why should I vote when it isn't gonna matter anyway. Before anyone gets all "But Rachel...you are in the military...you shouldn't say these things".... I am not saying anything in this post that is knocking my boss. I am not saying anything about him that can be considered bad. I am not saying anything about anyone specific at all. I am, however, saying that those with the money make the calls and after the electoral votes are counted....we have no real say in what happens in this country. We like to think we do....but we don't.
We are blind. We are sleeping. I choose to be blind and sleeping because it hurts less than being informed but not able to do a damn thing about it. I choose to purposefully be uninformed and ignore the news and ignore what is going on around me because A) if I do...it will piss me off B) the job I chose to do says I can't speak out or partake in activities against certain things and if I inform myself...I might care too much about some things to keep my mouth shut. C) a combination of A and B ...and D).....if I am ignorant and stay in LaLa Land...somehow that makes me feel better.
Don't judge me for that..... don't judge me for staying in LaLa Land... with all the way left side stuff you see and the way right side stuff you see...how do you even know which is the "right" stuff? How do you know the opinion you have or the things you choose to believe are "correct"? What makes them "correct" or "right"...because so-n-so said so or this religion said so or you had a soup and a salad at lunch so it has to be true?
Sometimes people at work ask me "What do you think about yadda yadda blah blah overseas whatnots mclalala" and I give them a blank stare and they judge me because I am uniformed and wearing a uniform...
I wear the uniform because of what I wrote when I was 15 years old. I didn't join the military right out of high school like some people did...I didn't join because of 9/11. I joined because I am a damn American and I want to protect my homeland from whatever might threaten us.... But lately it seems that a lot of what threatens us is our own internal division and I can't fix that. It makes me sad.
It makes me very sad.
America. Land of the free and home of the brave....... please?
Keep livin' the American dream,
~Turtle
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