The post about baby advice and opinions...

1. Don't hold them too much you will spoil them.
2. Hold them...you can't spoil a baby until 18 months so hold them all the time.
3. Hold them while they are awake but put them down when they fall asleep
4. Hold them while they are awake but put them down while they are sleepy but still awake.
5. Never sleep with your baby...you will end up with a four year old in bed with you.
6. Sleep with your baby...it makes life so much easier!
7. Never sleep with your baby...you will move in your sleep and kill them.
8. Sleep with your baby...they sleep better with you nearby.
9. Never sleep with your baby...blankets will suffocate them.
10. Put your baby on their back to sleep...it prevents SIDS
11. Put your baby to sleep on their stomach...if they spit up they won't choke.
12. Put your baby on their back to sleep...they wont suffocate on the mattress that way.
13. Put your baby to sleep on their stomach...they wont suffocate on the blanket that way.
14. Blankets are breathable...they wont die if it covers their face.
15. Put your baby to sleep on their side... they wont suffocate on anything!
16. Baby wearing....it is a hippie thing.
17. Baby wearing...it is good for physical and mental development.
18. Baby wearing will delay walking.
19. Baby wearing...it spoils them being held against you all the time.
20. Baby wearing...you can still get things done AND hold your baby!
21. Breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your baby!
22. Breastfeeding...why are you gonna do that? You'll never be able to be away from your baby
23. Formula is terrible!
24. Formula is fine....but only these kinds...
25. Formula is perfectly acceptable.
26. Pumping breast milk is a great way to give your baby your milk.
27. Pumping breast milk isn't as good as breast feeding directly.
28. Don't nurse in public. No one needs to see that.
29. Nursing in public is okay as long as your covered up.
30. Nursing in public is totally okay!
31. Circumsion is terrible.
32. Circumsion is fine.
33. Don't take the baby out the first couple of months...they will get sick.
34. Limit exposure to people the first couple of months...they will get sick.
35. Take baby out and have lots of people hold them...it builds their immune system.
36. Don't use a pacifier...it will confuse the baby when they nurse.
37. Use a pacifier...you can't cut your kid's thumb off when they get older.
38. Let your baby cry it out...he needs to self soothe.
39. Never let your baby cry it out...they will have trust issues.
40. Let your baby cry it out but only after a certain age.
41. Never let your baby cry it out...it is mentally and emotionally harmful.
42. Don't give your baby vaccinations...they are poison.
43. Vaccinate your baby...it could save their life and the life of someone that can't get vaccines.
44. Vaccinate your baby but only certain vaccines.
45. Vaccinate your baby but space them out more than recommended.
46. Don't vaccinate your baby...vaccinations cause autism.
47. You should have another right away to get pregnancy over with.
48. You should space your kids out...more than one in diapers is a pain.
49. You should have another right away so they can entertain each other.
50. You should space your kids out so your older one doesn't need you as often.
51. Start feeding rice cereal at four months.
52. Start feeding rice cereal at six months.
53. Don't feed rice cereal at all.
54. Don't give jarred baby food.
55. Jarred baby food is fine.
56. Skip baby food all together and just give them regular food in small bites.
57. Cloth diapers are best!
58. Disposable diapers are the way to go!

Everyone has their own opinion and their own way of doing things. That is fine. But don't Mommy shame people because their way isn't your way. The hardest thing I have experienced while being pregnant and in the (almost) six weeks I have had a child is judgey eyes...or repeated comments on Facebook about a certain way of doing things. As a new Mom it is frustrating to thing I am doing something "wrong" or not the "best" way.

But I realized something the other day that warranted this post.

There are billions of people on the earth. Clearly parents are good at not killing their children. What works for one person might not work for another. What one person believes might sound really crazy to someone else. Even though sometimes I wonder if my way is the best way I have a little chunker butt that is healthy and happy.

I appreciate everyone's opinion and all the advice I get I do consider and think about...but I now know I can take things with a grain of salt and smile and nod if I don't agree with it.

I know I will not break my child. :-) I may make mistakes along the way...I may wish I had done things different in a few years...but that remains to be seen.

I'll figure it out...and I won't let anyone make me feel like I am doing it "wrong". (Unless it comes to proper car seat use...in which case I fully expect my Mommy friends in my Facebook group to jump their Car Seat Nazi selves all over my ass. :-D )

Much love to everyone!!!!   

The post where I talk about what my one month old has taught me...

I have a one month old. How crazy is that?

Cain has grown a lot over the past month. He was 8 lbs 10 oz and 20.5 inches long when he was born on February 9th. At his one month check up on 3/9 he was 10 lbs 8 oz and 22 inches long. My little beast.

 

 

 

 

As much as Cain has changed over the past month... I have changed too. My little boy has taught me so much in such a short time. So here we go....

 

Things my one month old has taught me (in no particular order...)

 

*It is possible to love something more than you have ever loved anything ever in your entire life.

 



 

I love Adam. I love my parents and my family. I love my Furry Mafia. I love my friends. I have a lot of love in my life but I am telling you the love you feel when you create a human....there are no words.

Especially when the human is just this damn adorable....

 

* As much as I loved my husband before that is how much more I love my son's father. I've always known Adam is good with kids... I've seen him with his smallish family members...but seeing him with Cain has been awesome. He is such a good Daddy.

*My dogs surprised me. I thought Midnight would be all about the baby but that role goes to Mooshie. Mooshie thinks the baby belongs to him and Midnight seems scared of him.

 

 

 

* You can be less than a month old but if you are a boy you will still act like a boy...and he is his father's son....

 

 

 

 





 

* Sometimes babies just want you to shut up so they can sleep...

*Using baby wraps are NOT as easy as the happy people on the box make you think...

* Little lungs make big noise.... so much that sometimes you make this face when they are finally quiet...

 

 

* My child has turned me into a teenage girl... This face... I can't even...

 

 

 

Happy One Month, Little Boy. Momma love you.

 

The post where I discuss birthing a mini human

Soooooo..... this happened.....

Cain Kenneth Sylvester was born on February 9th, 2015 at 12:51 PM. He weighed in at 8 lbs 10 oz and was 20.5 inches long.

It is a good thing he was born ten days before his due date (according to the doctor) and three days before his due date (according to me).

So now onto the "birth story" or the Rachelese version of a "birth story" anyway...

A few weeks ago I had an appointment where Dr. Jones and I discussed inducing and when we would induce and methods of induction. She checked me and I was barely 1 cm dialated and not effaced at all. She said that, since I was a first time Mom, she was pretty positive I would go to my due date and beyond and that, since I have the lovely gestational diabetes, she wouldn't let me go overdue. One of the things I told her was that I really wanted to avoid using Pitocin and that I would like to exhaust all other options before having to go that route. She told me she was okay with me doing anything that she has not seen harm women or babies. She wrote me a note so a massage parlor would do a non-prenatal massage. She said using Evening Primrose Oil was fine and getting some 5W supplement was fine. At the end of the appointment she told me she was going to , "have a discussion with the hospital and see if the 20th or the 21st would be induction day" and that I needed "to have a conversation with your uterus about the fact you don't want Pitocin."

So I told my uterus how it was gonna be....and then I pretty much decided to do things the "Laura Ingalls Wilder way" (aka...nothing but wait and see what happened). The thought of jamming capsules up my vajayjay was just too....yeah.... I was good not doing that.

Friday the 6th I had an appointment and when I was checked Doc said I was at 3 cm and 60% effaced. Doc said she thought I might not need to be induced after all but that I would probably not deliver until the week of the 16th. Clearly the uterus talk was working.

Sunday February 8th Adam and I went shopping all over. I walked...a lot. I had frequent dizzy spells...frequent lightning crotch and was generally uncomfortable. That night we put the crib together and hung curtain rods and did stuff around the house. When I sat on the couch after we were done working for the night Midnight hopped up with me. She usually goes to the opposite end of the couch and lounges on the armrest. Instead she decided to be between the couch back and my legs....with one paw on my belly and the other on my thigh.....and then she stared at me like she was waiting for me to do something and I was clearly not getting the memo.

I had an ultrasound appointment at 7:30 AM on Monday the ninth. So I went and the tech did her thing. I asked her what my fluid levels were and she said they were 14.2 (which is apparently normal) and I said something about how I thought I might be leaking a little bit because things were different in the underwear department. She said the week before I had been at around 19 and it was normal for some to absorb and that the measurements could have been caused by the way the baby was positioned but if I thought I was leaking I should get it checked to see. I figured I would keep an eye on things going on in the nether regions and if I still felt like it was a possibility I would tell Dr. Jones at my appointment on Wednesday the 11th. The appointment was over so I left to head to work.

I stopped at Circle K on Reno to grab a few bottles of water. I bent down to grab the bottles from the cooler and as I grabbed the third one I felt a warm gush...I thought, "What the hell was that?" ... I straighted up and felt another gush "This is a gross new development"....then a third "Wait...is this what it feel like to have your water break????"

I walked to the register, bought my water and then went to the bathroom. I was soaked. It was clear and I knew there was no way I had peed my pants THAT bad. On the way to the car I felt two more gushes. I called Adam (at 8:20 AM) and let him know I would meet him at home...called work to let them know I wasn't gonna make it in...and headed home. Why did I go home and not back to the hospital? Because I hadn't packed a bag yet. Go me.

So I get home and go in the house and feel three more big gushes. I changed and threw stuff in a duffel bag. Wandered around the house grabbing random crap and throwing it into a bag. Wasn't thinking completely straight. (We took Adam's jeep...but somehow I ended up packing my keys...the key ring I always have AND the spare car key because...why not apparently.)

We got to the hospital around 9:30 AM and went to the OB ER to check in and make sure I was actually in labor. (The amount of fluid that came out of me suggested that there was no way I wasn't actually in labor....but rules are rules so I couldn't be admitted until then.) So we waited and contractions started around 9:45 or so. They were kind of uncomfortable but nothing too bad pain wise. The OB ER doc checked me and I was 4 cm. She said they would check me again in a little while to see if I was making any progress and talk about different ways to help my body along if I wasn't dialating on my own.

Turns out the "conversation with my uterus about how much I didn't want Pitocin" was received by my uterus loud and clear...

 

We were officially admitted around 10:15 and taken to a labor and delivery room. The nurse that took us up said something along the lines of, "are you ready to go for a little walk to your room" to which I replied, "could I get a chair instead...I don't want to have a contraction mid stroll." (I forgot that one should time contractions...being at the hospital and being hooked up to the monitors I didn't figure I needed to since they were monitoring them.....but I have a husband who rocks and was on top of these things. When the contractions started they were six to eight minutes apart and lasting 30-60 seconds. When we were on our way to our room they were five to six minutes apart and lasting about a minute.)

 

We got settled in our room and I was really starting to feel the contractions. I felt like a sissy because I hadn't expected them to hurt that much that fast and I figured if they were already that bad what the hell was active labor and pushing going to be like. I had planned on laboring in the water so Adam started the both for me and I climbed in well before it was even warm. I just wanted the shower spray to hit me because when I am sick that always makes me feel better....and it did...for about three contractions (which were now at about four minutes apart and 60-90 seconds long and making me dizzy and queasy). So I was sitting in the tub...feeling like a total friggin' baby and after a particularly painful and intense contraction I looked at Adam and said, "If I get an epidural you're not gonna say 'I told you so' are you." Smart man said, "No." The nurse asked if I wanted one and I said not yet (because I figured I had plenty of time and that I was just being a big baby and I was gonna need to save it so it didn't wear off before it was time to push.) At this point it was about 11:30. So I rode out two more contractions...felt like I was about to puke and pass out...and decided it was time. So I asked for the epidural and I go out of the tub.

 

It took about a half hour from the time I decided that I wanted to get an epidural until they had the paperwork done and the Epidural Gods arrived. So now I was at two to three minutes apart lasting about 90 seconds and I couldn't get through the first 20 seconds without pushing. Which in the movies they always tell you to not push until they tell you to so I went three or so contractions before I told the nurse I needed to push. The Epidural Gods were getting everything set up and the nurse said they were gonna check me after the epidural was in but if I felt like pushing maybe they should check me before... (At this point it was about 12:15 and I still was under the impression that I was near the beginning and not the end of labor. It had only been four hours since my water broke and labor was supposed to be an extended event....like 20 hours...so I was being a big baby...getting an epidural way too soon and if I couldn't handle the beginning of labor how was I gonna handle the end? I had said, "I can't do this" at least four times (which Adam told me, "yes...you can") I felt like a failure and a weakling. And everytime I would drop an F-bomb I would apologize.)

 

Then the nurse said some crazy things....

 

"Okay...you're at a 10 and the baby's head is right there. Someone call the doctor now, please. I can catch the baby but she needs to know we are ready to go in here. Are you sure you want to try the epidural or do you want to push?"

 

Excuse me? I'm at a what and what is happening? Already? But it hasn't been that long... I am a first time Mom....isn't this supposed to take forever???? So that is why it hurts so bad already....its already almost over. I get it now...I am not a big fat sissy pants. Cool!

 

So I said the logical thing in this situation....

 

"Stick me. Stick me now. I want the epidural right now right now. Right now please. Stick me right now."

 

Then the interesting things started. I had been making a humming noise to get through the worst part of the contractions (and to make myself breathe since Adam's favorite phrase during this whole evolution was, "You gotta breathe, babe.. you can't keep holding your breath...". but now the Epidural Gods (who were using terms like, "too late" and "stay still"...clearly not things I needed to hear) were trying to get things started and I was having a contraction from hell with the urge to push every 90-120 seconds lasting 60 to 90 seconds. I heard this crazy noise start when I was trying not to move and trying not to push. I was curled up in my right side...one hand attached to the bed rail and one hand gripping Adam's hand and pushing it against my forehead (I was trying not to rip his fingers off so if I put his hand against my head I had to loosen my grip a little).  So this noise.....it sounded like a dying cow. I was trying to figure out where this sound was coming from and why it sounded so loud like it was....oh....coming from me. Well that's super....the dying cow is me.... I couldn't figure out how to make the sound stop either. It was great. My mind knew I sounded like ridiculous but that is what my voice box decided to do to get through the pain.

 

So the Epidural Gods got the first dose in (but not entirely....they said only half went in since I couldn't keep still) and that they weren't gonna do the second dose. At that point it was more mental than physical. It took effect just enough to take the intense edge off the pain but it didn't numb me from the waist down and I still felt everything. The Epidural Gods rolled out and then Doc Jones was there. I said something along the lines of, "I guess my conversation with my uterus worked, eh Doc?"

 

I got into position and she said to go ahead and push when I felt the need to. At this point it was about 12:35. The next contraction hit and she told me to give her three good pushes per contraction and rest in between. In between contractions I would drop my head back and stair at the ceiling and make Rachel type comments to make myself feel better. I said, "This really stings". Doc said, "Yeah, is head is halfway out." I replied with, "I guess that would be why it really stings then..." Doc asked Adam if he wanted to see. I think he looked. I wouldn't have looked. Someone mentioned a mirror and I was adamantly against that. I figured I felt it...I didn't need to see it and have that mental image burned into my head for all eternity.

 

Doc told me that it was time to get his shoulders out and it would be over. It was go time. Contraction hit and I pushed as hard as I think was possible. Then....relief...the pressure was gone and nothing hurt anymore. It didn't occur to me that meant I had given birth so I dropped my head back and looked at the ceiling again to wait for the next contraction. Doc said, "Uh...Mom...you need to look up." So I did. And there he was.

 

 

 

They wiped him down quick, got him squawking a little and plopped him on my chest....where he promptly took his first poop. Thank you, Little Boy. "I am so happy to meet you, Mom...here is some poop on your stomach as a gift." I cried a little...not because of the poop but because he was there and it was overwhelming and I had about 9,000 emotions hitting me all at once. And it was over....I had my water break at 8:20 AM and at 12:51PM it was all over.

 

They say your first labor is the longest....my next kid will be born AT the gas station when my water breaks.

 

We started our mando 48 hour stay. He had some blood sugar issues the first 12 hours but we got those fixed up right quick. We were supposed to go home Wednesday but we had to stay until Friday because we had some jaundice issues we had to get through. Seeing him under the lights and not being able to cuddle him much sucked.



 

 

Mema didn't make it from New York for the birth. She got in on Wednesday instead. I think it was love at first sight...

 

Adam and I are so in love too. So is Mooshie. Midnight is slowly warming up to him.

 We are all doing well and settling in at home. Thank you everyone for the well wishes and love you have sent from near and far. And yes...I will continue to blow up your Facebook News Feed with pictures because...well...who WOULDN'T want to see this face?!?!?!